Yearly Archives: 2013

by - 0 comments

Between Singapore & Beirut

DSC_0525

DIFFERENCES

1.) Dress code

Although shopping is a daily activity in the life of a Singaporean resident, the dress code remains very chilled and casual. Unlike London, Paris, and Beirut, Singapore did not strike me as a place where people were very concerned with their daily attire. It’s more like the States in that it is perfectly okay to go to the supermarket in your pajama bottoms, wife-beater, and flip flops – and that’s without it being your “look” like the ensemble was intentionally chosen. It may be difficult due to the weather.

To make this clearer, in Beirut, you have around 5 basic levels of attire based on where you’re going that increase in snazziness gradually: Home/Teta, Work/Hamra/Uruguay St, Gemmayzeh, Clubbing, and Wedding. When in SG, I did not go higher than Level 2.

2.) Rules

There are so many rules and laws in SG that I was missing the chaotic corruption of Beirut (I got over it). Gum to SG is what pot is to Amsterdam in that you can have it but you can’t import it. Most travel to Amsterdam because you can order hash like it’s a non-hash hashbrown – or is it? Not exactly the same thing with gum in SG. You are not going to travel to SG just to chew gum because a.) it’s gum b.) unlike Amsterdam’s pot, it is not sold in stores and c.) people will give you disgusted looks while you blow bubbles and chew like a camel. What can I say, I’m graceful.

Besides gum, the people are also pretty strict on each other. There are websites where people tattle on each other for doing god-awful things like murals…which were commissioned by their own government. Fail.

3.) Alcohol

Unless you stick to local beer and whatever you managed to bring in from the duty free, booze in SG will cost you. Don’t worry, there’s Ladies Nights and affordable supermarket wine. In Beirut, you can have a good bunch of drinks for under $50, enjoy happy hours galore, or just go to Ahla A’lam and drink alcohol straight up out of plastic turkish coffee cups – if you survive, you’ll have a hangover for 48 hours.

4.) Public Transportation

SG has a subway system. And public buses. And cabs. And merlions that take you to school when it’s raining. Okay, that one’s not true but I wouldn’t be surprised if that happened by next year since they’re development projects come to life so quickly. I love any city that has a functioning subway – and every time I remember that Beirut doesn’t have one, I cry. On the inside. Of my car.

5.) Greenery

SG is actually a long lost jungle that happens to have roads and a metro. It’s not even a joke. You can be sitting having a club sandwich at a cafe in the middle of a rainforest except it’s not the Rainforest Cafe, you’re just in the middle of the Asian Amazon. Some of the most visited attractions are tributes to plantlife and flowers like the Gardens by the Bay and the Singapore Botanic Gardens. On the other hand, the greenest area in Beirut would be the AUB campus or the ABC parking lot at 9 am. Yes, I mean the parking sensors.

SIMILARITIES

1.) Rooftop Bars

Perhaps because the central district has such a great view, SG rooftop bars are popular but not practical. Unpredictable rain doesn’t help outdoor terraces but the drizzle doesn’t stop anyone from taking it all in anyway. Without mentioning music preferences and ambiance, the better weather and cheaper alcohol may put Beirut ahead of SG in this category.

2.) Religious Melting Pot

Pagodas and Hindu temples are the equivalent to Beirut’s collection of churches and mosques. Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, Islam – there’s a whole mix of sects too. Sound familiar? Yay, three cheers for coexistence!

3.) Actual Melting Pot

Food tourism is a big similarity. In SG, you have the choice to eat from all kinds of Asian cuisine: Thai, Indonesian, Chinese, Malay, Japanese, Indian – there’s even a large selection of Western chains including California Pizza Kitchen and The Cut by Wolfgang Puck. If you’re not too adventurous, you can have the Teppanyaki Chicken Sandwich from McDonald’s – just a small dose of Asian on top of a chicken burger you’re used to. Beirut has the same array of food to choose from with a complete set of Mediterranean deliciousness. No CPK or Puck here yet, but we do have Gaucho and Le Relais de l’Entrecote. Even Asian is taking over in a not-just-sushi-way; however, I still would prefer a whole bowl of tabbouli over a wok of stir-fry. Represent.

4.) Compared to Dubai

Much like Beirut, Singapore has been compared to the city of Dubai except that their comparison is more accurate. Singapore went from an infertile island with no natural resources into a “highly developed Asian megalopolis”; a lot like the city that rose from the sands in the Emirates. A colleague of mine once said that if you visit Dubai, the skyline looks as if someone copied the outline of Singapore and pasted it in the Arab world. Regardless of how true that is, both have been artificially constructed to some extent – how much? I can’t say for I have yet to go to Dubai.

5.) Size Doesn’t Matter

Singapore and Beirut are both ridiculously tiny but that just goes to show that kilometers are just numbers; it’s how you use them that makes all the difference.

by - 0 comments

A Little Wonderful Project

A new project titled “A Little Wonderland” is kicking off this Friday. The project, a collaborative effort between the “Geitawi On My Mind 2013” Festival, Paint Up’s Dihzahyners and Dispatch Beirut, will revolve around renovating an old home in the residential area of Ashrafieh. The team starts their work on the 8th- preparing it and creating the clean slate that will be open to public volunteers on March 22nd.

268477_747790401152_478216083_n

Lana Chukri, LAU Graphic Design graduate, is founder of Paint-Up, a group of proactive designers and artists on a mission to add color to Beirut. She recently gave a goosebump-inducing talk at TEDxLAU. Paint-Up are the ones to thank for all the snazzy staircases around the city.

60174_729680184172_1291551583_n

Pamela Haydamous, AUB Landscaping Design graduate, founded Dispatch Beirut, the Beirut chapter of Jan Vormann’s idea of restoring a city using Legos.

Here’s an example of one of Dispatch’s projects last November:

To find out more about the Wonderland event, I contacted these two very inspiring young ladies – I’m lucky enough to call them my friends – to ask what this project is about. I also wanted to share some of their thoughts because they are perfect examples of how you can make a difference in your surroundings; all you have to do is try.

1.) What was the inspiration for the “A Little Wonderland” project?

LC: I feel we were inspired by the space itself – it seemed a perfect fit to recreate this home-like world and feel by bringing it back to life somehow. “A Little Wonderland” was just a descriptive way to package what wonder we felt this small forgotten space has and will have more of once we add our touch!

PH: Being in the space on a Sunday afternoon, we all felt a tiny breeze of memories, as if literally this house could open it’s door and an old lady would greet us with a cup of coffee. The inspiration for this project goes beyond only this space and house; it is a message to preserve the spirit of Beirut, which we all feel is slipping away right in front of our eyes. I know it’s a bit too poetic but seeing spaces like these being torn down to make way for lifeless skyscrapers is just too sad.

2.) Is there a design plan for the house or is it going to be a “blank canvas” where all volunteers can go wild?

LC: There is actually a design plan that the Crew have discussed thoroughly over the past few weeks and planned for. I feel the end product will speak for itself but the concept of the house is to revive it, bring some life to it, give it that essence – that it hasn’t been forgotten after all. That’s all I’m going to reveal for now!

PH: The design plan, as Lana said, is already set, but I’m sure there’s always room for the volunteers to leave their creative touches.

3.) Will the historic significance of Ashrafieh architecture be retained/emphasized in some way?

LC: I think the architecture is apparent and we aren’t changing it except to dress it in a brighter and more beautiful way. So yes, the elements of it will remain and we are staying true to the surroundings and build of the venue, the style and feel of it as well – but with our touches, of course, and little added things that will make it complete.

PH: The architecture in the house is its main attraction and the key rationale behind the project. We’re very keen on preserving it, it’s just getting the mini uplift that does it justice.

4.) What is to be of the house once it is completed?

LC: We will have to leave that up to nature, time, and whatever comes after we leave our mark on it. Let it inspire others, make someone smile, feel warmth, want to pull out a chair and have a nice afternoon outside it – who knows?!

PH: We really hope that the end product just sends happy vibes, a rush of memories; ideally motivates other people to follow the lead and preserve the few heritage spots we have left.

5.) You are currently working a full-time job while simultaneously handling the Paint-Up/Dispatch initiatives. How important are side-projects in one’s professional life?

LC: Having side-projects aren’t only important, they’re absolutely vital and necessary for every individual – designer or otherwise. We live in a day and age now where everything has been seen, done, experienced, everything’s mainstream and what’s new today is old tomorrow. Keep your day job for the experience and growth and patience it teaches you – and the income and financial independence. But keep your passions, your projects, and initiatives for yourself and the rest of the world – because it’s in those things that you truly reap the benefits of seeing your dreams come to life! I could go on forever about this because I am a workaholic in the office – so I’ll keep it short. Your side projects are what fuel your soul and your heart, and only through first-handedly inspiring others can you really stay inspired yourself.

PH: Wow! Side projects are where you really put yourself out there. You dare to be different and show the world that a little thought or initiative can really go a long way. As Lana said, we really live in a day and age where everything is so five minutes ago. The difference is where you actually take the idea to, how you recreate it as your own, and adapt it to your needs and your surroundings. Keeping a day job that feeds into your passion is definitely the best you can do- it shapes your thoughts, dreams and stretches your passion to its limits. Two things that I think are important here are:

1. The minute you feel too comfortable in your little bubble (that is your daily job, routine, friends and family) then you’re on the wrong track.

2. Always have a critic’s eye and always let your passion scare you to the point where you actually do something about it.

6.) What are the hurdles that you face when starting a new project and how do you tackle them?

LC: People, society, criticism, jealousy, and, in Beirut, public humiliation. If people don’t like what you do they’ll make it clear you fail or make sure you have hard time realizing your potential. But you have to kill the criticism with kindness. They show you disregard or hate, show them consideration and love tenfold – then they’ll truly stand by your side in your time of need. In return, you would’ve really moved someone and changed their life and perspective!

PH: When it comes to Dispatch Beirut, we faced quite a few issues mainly in communicating our idea and making other people believe in it as much as we do. It all started as our way to express our critical point of view towards the city, as we love to see it at its best. Our installations consist of building and restructuring broken walls, facades, mainly “rebuilding Beirut” bottom up. So it was a tough task to get permits and all the legal documents. We faced a few issues with the ISF and a few locals, who had dismantled a few of our installations. But we believe that when our installations are placed in the public realm, then any reaction from the public is just other people’s way of expressing their ideas and thoughts too. Democracy at its best!

7.) What’s your advice to young people looking to add a little spark to their life?

LC: If you have an idea, a passion, a dream, just really get out there and try it in any way possible – don’t think about money, power, fame, or all the rest of the pretentiousness that people waste their time and energy on. Inspire others. Write, draw, run, paint, build, share everything with the world that you possibly can – and do not, in any way be scared of rejection. Wear your heart on your sleeve. And get off YouTube and 9Gag and these crappy televised things that don’t give you any form of knowledge, drive, and inspiration! Watch great films, read great books, travel, browse blogs, and animations that are inspirational, create a blog yourself, go to exhibitions and events and get exposed and only then will feel that surge of excitement to expose others to your own passions too! Lastly, exhaust yourself. And be happy and fulfilled doing it because you’re only young once. Right here, right now is your time!

PH: A trick that always inspires me is to try something new, a new road to work, a new alleyway to get lost in, new music, new people… It’s crazy what exploring new options can do to your brain. And the second you are able to close your eyes and imagine your idea come to life; that’s your cue to go ahead and make it happen. It might turn out to be the worst idea in the world and still you would feel satisfied enough that you tried it out. Pick up from there, explore other options and keep trying until you get it just right. Most of all, stay on the lookout for inspiration anywhere around you, always carry a little sketchbook to jot down or draw ideas (or you would end up having a pile of diner napkins fully scribbled on just like me) and always believe that only you can make your dreams come to life.

Hope to see you all there on the 22nd 🙂

by - 0 comments

Bambi Recommends: Popeye at Vick Vanlian

IMG_6639

“One Way or Another”

Vick Vanlian Gallery in Saifi Village, located next to Chenbai Restaurant, is having an exclusive exhibition of Jordi Machi’s Popeye collection. His art pieces feature the famous cartoons, Popeye and Olive Oil, in some very scandalous poses – and that’s why you love them. The exhibition itself is titled “PoPeye WTF Art Exhibition” after all, so it’s pretty obvious that the Spanish artist is very aware of the distorted reality he portrays in his work. I say distorted because I don’t remember ever seeing Olive snorting grinded spinach like it’s lines of coke…or strip. The gallery itself is the perfect place being that it has quirky furniture pieces with lady legs going everywhere, industrial pipe armchairs, and a giant metallic peeled banana.

IMG_6634

IMG_6640

IMG_6638

Spinach cans as part of the set-up

I wouldn’t necessarily go out of my way to go see the show but if you happen to be in Downtown or having waffles at Balima, you might as well walk on over and take a look. It’s a small collection so it’ll only take 10 minutes tops – 2 have already been sold. If you want to buy any of the works, prices run between $2300 – $3800. You have until March 22nd – Go.

Imagine having one of these in your parents’ living room:

IMG_6637

“One in a Millione”

IMG_6632

“LoVe Me KNOT”

IMG_6633

“Many Days at Sea”

IMG_6636

“How I Met Your Mama”

by - 7 Comments

Weekend in the Beirut Digital District

IMG_6618

This weekend, I live-tweeted for the Beirut Service Jam, a part of the Global Service Jam event that took place around the world in 135 cities. The idea of a “Service Jam” is to get excited individuals from all disciplines to come up with a project that can serve the community* – and to do so in 48 hours. Participants have to go through all the steps including brainstorming, prototyping, as well as putting together a formal proposal of the idea. This year’s theme for the GSJ was “GROW.”

IMG_6619

The event was held at Berytech in the new-and-still-in-it’s-preschool-phase Beirut Digital District. Most tech-savvy know it as the home of Geek Express, a café/shop/workspace open for those who want to experiment with technological DIY projects and attend weekly workshops. For those who don’t speak geek, it’s in Falafel Land – the street parallel to Falafel Sahyoun going towards Bechara El Khoury intersection. Some may wonder why it was decided that this would be the best location for the BDD – I couldn’t figure it out – but based on their brochure, the area, known as Bachoura, was chosen because it’s logistically close to major landmarks, shopping centers, and is a 15min drive from major educational and health centers. Plus, it said all this nice fluffy stuff about it being historically relevant to Lebanese heritage and scars of the war. Apparently this area used to house many public libraries – where’d those go?

The BDD’s aim is to “create the right environment for companies to invest, create jobs and grow our GDP.” They want to create a hub where the ICT sector (Information & Communication Technologies) can grow and entrepreneurs can get something started. Architecturally, there are still 3 projects to be completed in 2014, 2015, and 2016.

IMG_6612

The Beirut Service Jam participants were split into 5 teams and directed by mentors specializing in different fields. Mentors included TedxBeirut 2012 speakers Chris Littlefield & Hani Asfour, and MENA Design Research Center’s Doreen Toutikian. Other mentors focused on the art of storyboarding (Krystel Kouyoumdjis, also a participant in the BSJ), film (Rabih Ibrahim), role play (Elyssa Skaff), and set design (Rami Dalle).

IMG_6674

IMG_6689

Projects touched on many topics like public space, social interaction, CSR initiatives in the agriculture sector, and recycling. You can check them out here.

Interesting Interaction for me as a designer:

  • Rami Dalle, a set designer, designs window displays for some shops in Beirut Souks. He specializes in embroidery, crochet, wool works, taxidermy, willow weaving, and attends workshops abroad to acquire new skills.

His #1 rule: there is no basic rule.

Highlight of the Event:

IMG_6724

  • A Skype call with fellow Jammers in Dundee, Scotland

The Beirut Service Jam was organized by Mirada Madrid’s Joumana Mattar and Riccardo Musolesi in collaboration with the Beirut Creative Cluster.

IMG_6686

* “Jammers are simply challenged to design and prototype a service. While many choose to do something which is community oriented, this is not compulsory, or even suggested. Jammers are equally welcome to design a purely commercial service, for example.” – from Adam, Co-Initiator of Global Service Jam

by - 2 Comments

10 Fun Facts about Singy/S’pore/SG

IMG_6088

Singapore, in my mind, can be summed up in 3 words: green, clean, and Asian- although I was told repeatedly that Singapore was the most westernized Asian destination. Still, as an Arab who had never been anywhere past the Middle East when it came to Asia, Singapore was very different than any other city I had experienced as a tourist.
1.) You can drink from the tap and perhaps my stomach is tough but I survived it – and if you do order a drink, ask for lime juice. Instead of being a sour mix of green like you’d expect, it’s a light tangy refreshment. One place in Chinatown called G7, known for its bullfrog porridge, had particularly sweet orange-colored lime juice. Alcohol is very expensive so stock up on a few bottles from the duty free upon arrival – but beware, there are restrictions as to how much alcohol you can buy upon entry. Specific combinations are as follows: 1 pack of beer, 1 wine bottle, 1 bottle of spirits or 2 bottles of wine and 1 pack of beer or only 2 packs of beer. Drug trafficking will get you the death penalty so keep it clean.

2.) Rain boots are futile. It’s the first time I ever walked through puddles in sandals, complained about the heat in the middle of a thunderstorm, and felt fluffier than a freshly permed chia pet – all during the month of February. Being so close to the equator means that Singapore is tropical year-round, and wet all the time. And that’s what she said.

3.) Cab drivers, who are also called “uncle”, don’t know their way around the city-state, which is only 274 square miles, and insist that you tell them how to get to where you’re going. God help you if you don’t know where that is…which is the case for most tourists on the planet. They are not the best drivers – there were some close calls with a few BUSES. Their music fluctuates and is in any language: one lady driver was cruising to a melody that sounded like the Chinese Wizard of Oz soundtrack whereas my driver to the airport, Mr. Boo, was grooving to Spice Girls. And drivers sit in the right seat – it’s all quite British except that you’re in Asia. You don’t need cabs – the metro and the buses are enough to get around if you’re not out too late. Bring something to read though because some transits can be long rides. Unlike London where passengers were all buried in books or newspapers, Singy locals are all glued to their devices probably due to there being cellular reception underground.

4.) Like most things that would be antiestablishment and/or illegal in Singy, street art is virtually nonexistent. The street art that does exist isn’t real street art since its commissioned by the government. The biggest form of creative public intervention seen were some stickers and one phrase on a wall on Arab street.

5.) Most malls are underground. Connected through the metro and having the luxury brand names on the ground level, malls run deep in the earth and are also interconnected with each other. Consumerism is a huge part of Singapore – seeing that the average resident has a high salary, they have plenty to spare on goods and the schizophrenic weather keeps them indoors long enough that there’s only one place to go on a rainy day: the mall. There are mini malls in between metro stations and a giant maze of shopping centers on Orchard Road. I think I saw 4 Louis Vuittons in a stretch of 1 mile.

6.) Street markets and food centers (hawker centers) are something we are missing out on – offering cheap goods, clothing, and food. The street markets in every country must have the same source supplier given that I have items I’ve bought from the UK and France that popped up in Singapore’s Chinatown and Bugis. Sure, they’re probably bad quality (but who cares at S$10/piece) and the chicken rice may give you salmonella poisoning but what’s travel without a little adventure and germs? If it makes you feel better, Anthony Bourdain visited a few but, then again, that guy eats everything. Regardless, food stalls are graded in cleanliness and have a big range of dishes from all around the region. I preferred murtabak which I was told was Malaysian but upon a quick search, it seems it’s Arab – no wonder I liked it. Just pour chili sauce on whatever you’re eating and it’ll taste good, no joke. Besides the spice, get some honey banana fritters for dessert.

7.) Tiger Beer, Tiger Balm, and the Merlion – 3 things that I associate with Singapore now: the first two are born in the country. Tiger beer, started in 1932, is light and doesn’t give you that beer-belly feeling. Fans of Almaza may not think it’s “real beer”; I liked it but I also like margaritas and Baileys. Just saying, I’m not much of a hardcore drinker. The Merlion is a signature of Singapore  because “Singapore” means “Lion’s City” in Sanskrit and the mythical creature was used to symbolize the city by combining it’s name with it’s past: a small fishing village. It’s now Singapore’s mascot around the world thanks to the statue that sits at the Marina Bay.

8.) Mustafa Center – located in Little India, it’s pretty much a shopping center that could be a small city. This place has merchandise, a pharmacy, a fresh produce grocery, a giant money exchange, and a restaurant on the roof. It has everything from “Sexfuel” pills to London souvenirs. Yeah, I don’t know why either.

9.) When giving you change and your receipt, they use both hands and you are expected to receive it with both hands as well.

10.) You’re not allowed to eat or drink on the metro or the bus but there are plenty of restaurants and 7/11s in between stations to grab quick bites. Bread Talk for some pork floss? Prawn balls, curry pockets, or maybe just some French fries from McDonald’s with chili sauce? If you’re not a big fan of Asian cuisine, there’s a bunch of Western spots and a Starbucks every 10 paces. Or just pop in to any Indian joint and fill up on garlic naan while waiting for tandoori chicken (practically like a farooj). Or have some dosai with masala potatoes dipped in an array of sauces. Or hazelnut crumb brownies from Awfully Chocolate. Really, food’s not an issue – you’ll find something.

But whatever you do, stay away from the durians.

by - 1 Comment

Tiger Balm Disneyland

DSC_0382

Haw Par Villa, or as I came to think of it “Moussa’s Castle for Crazies”, is an abandoned theme park located in Singapore. Locals call it “Chinese Disneyland” and foreign residents call it “Creepyland” for this place is the exact dilapidated nightmare you would imagine when thinking up a spooky ride based on Chinese folklore with brightly painted figurines.

DSC_0391

Formerly known as the “Gardens of Tiger Balm”, Haw Par Villa is named after the Burmese brothers Aw Boon Haw and Aw Boon Par. They were manufacturers of the famous Tiger Balm – or as us Arabs know it: “Abu Feis.” Their graves are also in the middle of the park in giant phallic beige stone structures.

Side note: Tiger balm is some pretty magical stuff- it smells like Vicks Vaporub and is great for mosquito bites, which is handy because Singaporean mosquitoes are silent non-buzzing sneaky mofos that can give you Dengue fever.

Although Moussa’s Castle’s history is somewhat more dreamy and romantic, Haw Par Villa revolves around legends and Confucianism beliefs. The one section that is the most – let’s go with “captivating”- is the part of the park that is dedicated to the Ten Courts of Hell.

DSC_0384

Here, you walk through a garden displaying a killer rodent battle where rabid rabbits and rats attack and maim each other. Upon passing through the entrance that is decorated with mini severed heads and two guardians, you see the 10 different courts that a person must go through where they will be judged and punished for their crimes.

DSC_0392

DSC_0393

DSC_0394

DSC_0395

Plaques describe various crimes with corresponding punishments – those of which are shown visually with colorful statues within the cave-like structure. You know, just in case you have a weak imagination and wouldn’t know what it’s like to grind up your siblings under large stones because they didn’t obey you during your lifetimes. All crimes and punishments seem to be a way of discouraging visitors from being “bad” people. That wouldn’t justify bringing 5 year olds to such a park in my opinion but, then again, my little sister loves movies about dismemberment and the undead so what do I know about kids these days.

DSC_0396 DSC_0397

DSC_0398 DSC_0399

I read that many of the statues had been updated technologically so that they’d move, blink, and growl; however, upon my visit, they were completely stationary- at least, while I was looking at them. Due to the rainy weather, it was empty, making it all the more creepy, but the park generally seems to be a forgotten landmark.

And it is because of this that it’s definitely a place to go see: it’s weird, one-of-a-kind, and photogenic. Plus, entrance is free.

SMRT station: Haw Par Villa (Circle Line- Yellow)

by - 1 Comment

Jay-Z, Will You Be My Valentine?

374205_10150473394093713_515413712_8404500_1565098980_n

Hey Jay,

Can I call you Jay? First off, let me say that this is an entirely platonic Valentine request. I am not romantically in love with you, I do not want to make a rainbow of babies with you, and I don’t have any form of erotic fantasies involving your physical entity in any shape or form. Think of this as a friend request in the shape of a heart because my love is that sincere, ’tis the season, and it don’t cost a thing. Please don’t let my J.Lo reference count against me. Beyonce for life.

[And I mean that especially now – girl, I ain’t after your man. I just want to be part of your clique because you guys are the most stylish power couple with business brains. You also are smart personally – I mean look at Ye and Ri – they don’t know what they’re doing with their love lives. Be, I respect that you admitted to your lip-synching at the inauguration because Barack is your boy – you can’t let him down.  I also respect that you are the right match to Jay, equally pulling your weight financially and, probably, physically. Really, your monster thigh muscles scare me. Have no fear, I am not a threat even if I’m a white Arab chick from Beirut. Since we’re talking like this, I just have to say “Run the World” was just another single that followed the whole independent-woman streak you seem to fall back on too often and you can do better. You don’t need it, you’re BK from Texas.]

So Jay, as I was saying, I admire your ability to shift into many different realms of creativity. You’re a chameleon, while seeming totally down to earth, you are effortlessly suave, just a very cool guy who happens to have a net-worth of $500 million. And I don’t mean I’m after your money. I mean you are successful. Ambition is a quality that I want in the people that I surround myself with. Ambitious people give good inspiring energy.

Musically, don’t get me started. The Black Album is one of my favored LPs but the fact that you can make mashups with Linkin Park and Dolly Parton sound good separately – now that’s saying something. Then you go and work with JT and Timbs. YES. “Decoded” is a beautiful publication by the way. I was skeptical because that Nets logo was average, but the book is lovely. Your affection for your wife and family (blood or otherwise) is admirable. I don’t care if it’s publicity like that subway stunt with the grandma – I grinned like a buffoon – it’s good to see.

So what’s the initiation process to be an intern? Or just shadow you so I can soak up some residual awesomesauce? Do I take S-A-Zs? A test of 99 problems? Just grant me a moment of clarity to know what it takes. Ladies is pimps too but I won’t be standing at the “tabownacle” forever.

Thanks,

Me

P.S. – Is “that shit cray?” short for “crazy” or the Kray twins? Because if it’s the twins, I need to make a new t-shirt.

by - 0 comments

Plenty of Fish in the Sea

IMG_6022

Much like this scene in Finding Nemo, post-grad twenty-somethings are poor little fish caught in a plastic bag thinking “now what?” We spend all our lives living in a bubble that protects us but, eventually, we’re going to need to pop it if we want to continue to survive. YOLO. No, that’s not a link to Drake.

Now that I feel I’ve said something profound enough to merit a blogpost, I will say what I actually wanted to say:

1.) I’m flying off to Singapore for 10 days and will be disconnected for a while. I WILL be back though – with pictures and stories.

2.) First week of Feb marks the 1-year anniversary of Bambi’s Soapbox. Hooray!

Thank you all for reading! I’ll be posting appetizers on the Facebook page (so LIKE it if you haven’t already) See you back here in 2 weeks!

IMG_6021

Take me with you!

by - 0 comments

8 NY-Resolutions a Twenty-Something Makes but Never Does

calvin-hobbes-new-years-resolutions-620x469_medium

So it’s been almost a month since NYE, how are those resolutions going?

1. “I’m going to drink less coffee.”

What actually happens: Migraines. Hangovers. Not sleeping in general because you’re too busy THINKING at 1 in the morning…or streaming a show that you can see the next day at a normal hour but refuse to wait another 24 hours because you have to know if she’s actually pregnant. It changes everything, DON’T DENY IT.

2. “I’m going to spend less time stalking people on Facebook.”

What actually happens: as soon as you open your browser, you type “f”  into the address bar without even thinking. “It’s just to see what’s going on, it’s not like I’m going to investigate anyth– who the heck is that?” *2 hours later* “Oh, it’s just her half-brother from the previous marriage that got annulled in Cambodia.” You didn’t even know the date of her birthday in the morning.

3. “I’m going to exercise more, maybe even start yoga.”

What actually happens: you go to sleep.

4. “I’m going to say ‘yes’ more, you know be spontaneous and shit.”

What actually happens: you say ‘yes’ to the wrong things, go broke, invest in stupid dead-ends, eat too much garlic bread, gain weight, do a crash diet before summertime, cry, stick your head out the window of a moving car, hit a tree with your face, and laugh at funerals because you keep remembering this scene and you don’t know why.

5. “I’m going to stop wearing sweatpants to work.”

What actually happens: you wake up on Thursday, the thought that it’s still not Friday dawns on you, and you don’t want to leave your bed because your covers are hugging you back like they’re a Nicolas Sparks character. Wear jeans and spend the next 30 minutes bothering to look like you didn’t crawl out from under a rock? Nah, bring on the Adidas swish-when-you-walk-I’m-going-skydiving-but-I’m-so-not pants.

6. “I’m going to move out of my parents’ house.”

What actually happens: paying rent happens. No thanks, I’m good.

7. “I’m going to travel at least twice this year.”

What actually happens: you might travel once and allow that family roadtrip you took to count as a second time because you were in this village that looked like you landed on Mars because the rock formations were weird as f**k and you know you weren’t tripping on substances with your parents even though your dad started talking Spanish to a UNIFIL dude and you were convinced he did the chihuahua VO for Taco Bell commercials.

8. “I’m going to save more and spend less.”

What actually happens: You eat a lot of French steak with that creamy green sauce and you’re like, “I’m young and I want to enjoy my hard-earned cash, damn it.” You spend the last two and a half weeks of the month making chicken broth soup and visiting your Teta for quality time…and djeij bil forn.

The only resolution you really need to implement: Be Happy. 

by - 1 Comment

The Inner Monologue of a Beiruti Pedestrian

 

funny-Johnny-Bravo-Johnnie-Walker
“…I have twenty minutes to go to the forn and get breakfast before I have class but I need 5 minutes to vacuum the manoushe I hope there’s no hair in it this time OMG remember when that old woman licked her thumb before kneading the dough no wonder that place closed but they were such a cute old couple I wonder if the guy died don’t think about death why is everyone looking at me funny I probably have something on my face it’s that damn zit wait a second maybe I look really good today I mean my hair was doing that flip thing that woman’s asking for donations again no I don’t have a spare second and I can’t remember the last thing Greenpeace actually did stop honking I don’t want a damn taxi isn’t it obvious I’m walking this is why there are so many accidents and traffic your car is so creepy you probably have a bottle of Jack under your seat yeah blasting that Childish Gambino you can’t mess with me I’m going to cross the street and give the little wave that translates into dont-kill-me-with-your-SUV-thank-you-kind-sir holy crap H&M has a sale but their stuff is such bad quality but it’s good for basics like tshirts and funky accessories that are made in a factory in Indonesia on the other side of the world where is the forn should I get cheese with khodra or maybe just zaatar I shouldn’t be eating so much 3ajeen but they say zaatar is good for the brain but so is reading and you haven’t done that in a while you spend so much money on books that you haven’t even opened but you’re building a library you’ll get to them when you have the time you should make time they take up space but that’s why you got a Kindle WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE there’s so many people in line why didn’t I just have cereal at home because you don’t wake up hungry are you even hungry now you should eat breakfast it’s better than bingeing later forget it you’re going to be late and then you won’t be able to leave early to get to your car before you get a ticket what is wrong with the municipalities there are barely any parking lots left and now we have to pay by the hour unless you find those streets without meters but you end up losing your side mirror because people can’t drive at a normal speed through tight roads and you have to squeeze through just to be sure you don’t hit anything it’s so nerve wracking trying to parallel park on these itty bitty roads with plastic-chair-spot-savers you’re looking for a spot and some pedestrian pops out and crosses the street waving like that makes up for the fact that I almost killed you just because you’re walking and I can make you a human pancake doesn’t mean you should just jump in front of my car use the nonexistent sidewalks yeah yeah smile like you’re grateful I let you live I hate pedestrians”