Category Archives: Lists

by - 1 Comment

7 Kinds of Love You Find in College

1. Academic

You take classes in philosophy, psych, maybe even a little cultural studies so that you can properly analyze a book that is most likely related to some form of colonialism. You major in something you think you’re passionate about or something that will make a lot of money or something that sounds really good at a 10-year reunion. And if you choose right, this may actually be something you can make a real career out of. Maybe. The love you get out of the courses you take and the lessons you learn will teach you what you want to do with your life or what you don’t want to do with your life. Either way, you will fall into a couple of academic potholes and eventually you’ll find out which one will pop your tire and make you stay. Even by studying something you don’t love, you’ll discover what you do love.

2. Platonic

You will meet so many people. Younger, older, weirder, or just plain boring. You’ll become friends with the guy who always offers gum. You’ll hate that girl in front who, without fail, asks a question a minute before the teacher was going to dismiss you…every hour. Your friends will make friends and you’ll meet those friends who will introduce you to their friends who will be your original friends. You probably know people’s full names even though you’ve never met them because they’ve had enough interaction on Facebook with mutual friends.  Just walking around campus will make you effectively know a huge chunk of your demographic and you will continue to recognize people after you graduate but you won’t know why. But here’s the truth: You will make plenty of acquaintances but only a small number of close friends. Life will catch up with you post-graduation and all those people you met will start doing their own thing. It’s not personal, it’s business also known as “your future”.

3. Romantic

You will meet someone who will become your person. The one you wake up early in the morning for. The one who knows that before a test, you’re going to be in pajamas in the library but doesn’t mind because you’re falling asleep on them so, technically, you’re appropriately dressed for the occasion. The one your friends call when they can’t find you. The one that pisses you off because they ate your last french fry but, deep down, you don’t care. The one who gives you their hoodie when you wear that polyester shirt that’s going to make you an allergic mess. The one that makes you stronger just by saying “it’ll be okay” because them saying it makes it true. The one who’s smell is chloroform and smelling salts to you. The one who is your spinach and kryptonite. The one that may be The One. Or not.

4. Materialistic

You will develop a love for at least one material item that is unnatural. It may be your car, your laptop, your cellphone, your iPod, your lucky BIC pen that has managed to help you pass every English essay that needed to be written within 30 minutes…it could be all of these things, at which point, you may need to get out more. You will become dependent on this item and love it like it is your child. You will have heart palpitations when it is hurt and will worry about it when it’s not with you. Please remember, they are material things. They can be replaced. As long as you backup all data and/or have insurance. Except for the BIC, that stuff is magic.

5. Parental

You will realize how much your parents love you. Not immediately but eventually it will dawn on you.  They will suffocate you with phone calls, lectures and questions about where you are, why you’re not studying, who you’re with, what you ate for lunch, etc. Then there’s the teasing about how you’ve lost/gained weight which is somehow related to the status of your love life that you have yet to inform them about and that’s their way of reminding you that you haven’t. And if you’re living on your own, you will realize how much your parents used to do for you without you appreciating it because now you have to do everything yourself while still getting the phone calls, lectures and questions mentioned above.

6. Professional

You will meet at least one accomplished individual – a professor, guest speaker, lab instructor, PhD student – who will inspire you to be an accomplished individual. They don’t necessarily have to be in your field or from your country of origin but you see yourself in them for some unknown reason. They will give you hope and make you think that it is actually possible to “make it” and that maybe that last overnight or failed final won’t even be a blip on the radar of success that is in store for your ambitious little soul. You’re going to be a star because J.K. Rowling said failing is okay and since Scrooge McDuck is definitely jealous of her case of swimmer’s ear, you’re convinced she knows her shit.

7. Self

You will develop a new found love for yourself. You will spend nights bouncing thoughts about your future off the ceiling like it’s a ping pong table. You will realize what your weaknesses and strengths are. You will realize how powerless you can be and how much you can accomplish. You will surprise yourself over and over again. You will also learn what you will put up with from other people and what you will be willing to do for others as well. You will see how selfless you can be without feeling used but you will also know that there will come a point where you will also need to be selfish without shame. And sometimes, you will do this all alone. You will become your own worst enemy and your own best friend because the one constant you can count on in all the ups and downs is you.

If you’re lucky, you get to experience at least 3 of these. If you’re really lucky, you get them all. (POKE-E-MON!…sorry.) 

by - 1 Comment

7 Lebanese Obsessions

1. Burgers
Classic Burger Joint
We have been going through this alarming oral fixation with beef patties for the past few years now. There are so many burger joints, bars, diners, bites, shacks, and/or huts that I have been a bit overwhelmed. Eventually, we will all be waking up from a nightmare where we were drowning in ground beef and our oxygen tanks had been switched with gigantic condiment bottles. Too much? Well, the hyperbole is just to stress how our obsession with sushi shifted to our love of cow. That and my imagination is quite powerful. This coming from the sole carnivore who is forced to eat Boca Meatless Burgers in a vegan-we-have-no-labneh household (but we do have durians) is saying a lot.
2. Cupcakes
My House was a Cupcake Meth Lab
The OTHER oral fixation. People don’t like cake anymore. People don’t like znoud el sitt anymore (you’re all crazy for that by the way). People don’t even like ice cream anymore. Everyone wants cupcakes. Red velvet this and oreo that. And I must admit, and I say this without kinky undertones, I am a sucker for anything red velvet. I believe it was Sugar Daddy’s in Qoreitem that started this revolutionary discovery in a pastry that’s been around since the 19th century. And honestly, they are the easiest things to bake for parties, but never do so during fasting periods when you have to resist ingesting frosting or licking the excess cake batter off the bowl. Regardless, don’t neglect the znoud.
3. Rooftops
Iris Rooftop
There’s something about being on a roof. Iris, Fly, The Roof at the Four Seasons, Alcazar, othernamesthatareflowersorinsects. Two of the poshest rooftop bars/clubs in the capital city, Skybar and White, have international reputations for having the best music, best performances, best events and best bests. It is difficult to get tables, reservations, and sometimes you won’t even be allowed in. Naturally, with all this hype and fancy shmancyism, you must be prepared to drop serious dineros – unless you go early and camp out at the bar (this is what I’ve heard). Beirut has quickly become known for it’s collection of rooftops with these two at the top of the list – which is funny considering we have the worst humidity in the region so combine that with crowds of people that hold drinks and smoke while checking out everyone else (with intermittent fits of controlled dancing) = a sticky situation.
4. Smartphones
iPhone > Blackberry
You are so rude. Put your damn phone down. If you are in the presence of another human being that you know and exchange actual conversation with – I am not referring to those awkward elevator/doctor’s waiting room moments – then put the phone down, flip it over and BE with them. If you prefer to peck away on bbm/whatsapp/imessage/imtoocheaptotextnow, then stay home in your cave and don’t bother socializing in the flesh. This is not a Lebanese phenomenon but we tend to have special relationships with our phones due to the exponentially increasing number of immigrated friends. With that said, don’t ignore the people that are still with you. If you’re out with people, assume that they actually would like to spend time with you instead of competing with bubbles of text that are asking you what you’re doing at that moment.
And couples, if your significant other is out with people other than you – you should trust them enough to leave them alone. Unless it’s an emergency (in which case, call), you can live without them for a few hours. If you can’t, buy a dog.
5. Anti-Punctuality
Cuckoo Clock at The Angry Monkey, Gemmayzeh
No one here is on time and thus comes the obsession of always being late. If they are punctual, then they probably lived abroad at some point in their life and they learned that it is common courtesy to not make people wait for you. Here in Lebanon, it’s a completely different rule. Majority do not even try to be on time. The beautiful part? When you complain that you’ve been waiting for 25 minutes because you thought they said “9 o’clock, don’t be late because we’ll lose the table”, they say “you know I’m never on time, come on” as if that is some form of a legitimate excuse for you setting the record for consecutive games of Temple Run while acting like you’re not being stood up by a table for 12. This is another situation where it would be acceptable to be bffs with your smartphone – but not once the people get there. They can disrespect your time but don’t disrespect their presence for then your argument loses all value.
6. Hamra
Birdhouses in Hamra
This area is actually just a district made up of about 4 main streets with their alleyways + the AUB campus. It is famous for being home to many coffee shops since the 70s – one of which was Cafe Modca, one of the first examples of Constructivist architecture in the Middle East (sadly, it has since been transformed into Vero Moda). Now, it has pubs as well. It seems that every 43 seconds, there is a new pub coming to life. Although Hamra had been on the decline in the late 90s, it came back as the “it” place to be due to it’s bustling nightlife and convenience, being in between two of the largest universities in Beirut. Most restaurants have opened branches in Hamra, along with foreign clothing franchises opening large stores along the main street. It seems the only thing missing is a decent movie theatre; this is ironic seeing that it used to be home to Beirut’s first cinemas.
7. Turkish Series
Watching Turkish soap operas has been an epidemic. When I was younger, it used to be mostly shows from Mexico resulting in me becoming a fan of Thalia and Maria Mercedes/Rosalinda. I have left these days behind. The Turkish counterparts have been dubbed in Syrian or Egyptian Arabic and have an audience that watch them religiously. It seems there’s a show for everyone, dramatic romances to action-packed mafioso gangsters – people will actually stay home to watch the latest episode of their favorite show that will probably include a coma, a love triangle, a murder and betrayal, not necessarily in that order.

by - 0 comments

5 Smells of a Beiruti Summer

1. Eau de Pub

The pub crawl stench. This is not restricted to the summer season but tends to increase in intensity during vacation periods due to pubs’ desire to fill their venues to maximum capacity. That combined with humid weather and weak air conditioning/ventilation gives you the pub crawl stench that infests your skin and clothing on a night out. It is a combination of cigarette smoke, perfume, deodorant, and various body odors all mixing together thanks to the close proximity boundaries that don’t exist in the Bei. God help you if you come home and can’t shower. 

2. Vape

Pronounced as “VAP”, this is the anti-mosquito magic that most households use. It comes in different forms, but my new favorite is the “wheel” that you light and burn like incense – sorta smells like it too. In Arabic, they’re referred to as “douwaleeb”, or tires, so it goes right along with the newest trend of burning tires.

Vape douleb (singular for tire)

3. Masheweh & Fahim

This means “barbecue and coals.” As is tradition during the summer months – people take advantage of the sunny weather and decide to grill all organs and slabs of meat on a man’al, a rectangular shaped open grill with groves so skewers rest over the coals. It can be anything – chicken, beef, lamb – and of any nature – filet, lungs, wings, etc. It’s commonly known as “kebabs” to the outside world. The side-effect smells are charcoal, garlic and possibly onions if you eat too much fattoush salad.

Source

4. Brakes

The smell of the car brakes after driving up and down mountain roads. The Lebanese version of a roadtrip is to drive up to a village or spot up in the mountains where it’s a bit cooler, sit around and have some masheweh and beer. Majority of the cars owned in this country are not made for off-roading since having smaller sedans is ideal for living in a city that ignores the idea of parallel parking or traffic laws. Therefore, these roadtrips (that actually consist of you driving for two hours tops since Lebanon is smaller than the state of Connecticut) destroy your brakes and “re7it freimet” (the brakes smell) accompanies you on your return down the mountain.

Source

 5. Coconut/Carrot Cream or Johnson’s Baby Oil

Coconut/Carrot tubs of cream are these orangey/brown buckets of stuff that people use poolside. They’re popular but the staple here for becoming brown is Johnson’s Baby Oil, the tanner’s elixir of life. The suntanning folk here tend to swim in it first before swimming in actual water. When I used it once, I felt like a baking chicken that is asking to look like I fell into KFC batter by age 40. Nevertheless, many other people enjoy the deep brown color it seems to help create in the now. I admit that it is a nice hue (with moderation) but it’s not safe medically – I prefer SPF and not looking like Magda in There’s Something About Mary.

Johnson’s Baby Oil Shelf
Magda – Source
by - 0 comments

6 Tips for Effective Studying

William Wallace studying biology

1. Read your notes/chapters to yourself aloud in a foreign accent. I prefer Scottish although it tends to morph into an Irish barmaid as I go down the page. This usually works best when you’re studying alone.

2. Creating acronyms for important theories/categories/names/things-you-will-never-use-in-regular-conversation-with-human-beings-who-were-smart-enough-to-study-something-other-than-what-you’re-studying. However, not plain boring acronyms. Make them inappropriate, offensive or inappropriately offensive. It’s the one time you will talk dirty to a textbook without feeling like a sad human being. I hope.

3. Make up a dance to go along with a theory you need to memorize. Turn on your iPod and recite the theory to yourself while breaking it down in your pajamas. You can make up moves to virtually any process. Cell cycle? Pretend your fingers are chromosomes and spirit-finger the heck out of that anaphase. The movement is good for mental stimulation and it helps you burn off some stress too.

Source

4. Study on a daily basis. No, just kidding. If you try to keep up with the class regularly, it’ll be much easier to hoover the info a few days before…but realistically speaking, this rarely happens. What they forget to tell you is to zone out on a daily basis. Take about 30 minutes to just vegetate, recuperate, doodle, work out. Take a bubble bath. Do anything that has nothing to do with the task at hand.

5. Create rewards for yourself. This is a lot like how they train a dog – if you do the trick, you get the treat. Following the same logic, if you do the chapter, you get the Snickers bar. Or the latest episode of 90210. Whatever floats your boat.

6. Instead of making a schedule just write a list of everything you have to do. The problem with schedules is it’s hard to stick to them – when writing them, we tend to be too optimistic in our ability to finish things. It backfires when you don’t finish all the things you wrote down for that day and it ends up being discouraging. The list however will still give a lovely sense of accomplishment when you scratch a line through something once it’s completed. Do have a general deadline in mind though. It’s not a bucket list. 

by - 0 comments

7 Dilemmas of 20-Somethings

Source

1. You want to be independent. You want to be able to pay for everything on your own without your parents’ help. You want to sleep till 1pm and watch cartoons all Saturday afternoon with a bowl of Cheerios on your lap. Wait, what?

2. You want to be in a meaningful relationship with someone of substance. While in this age range of unstable uncertainty, you want to have your person, the one who gives you something concrete to hold on to. But you’re too young for that Grey’s Anatomy crap. You’re not going to officially commit to anyone or anything now, why risk getting hurt? 
3. You want to have a job and a bank account that has more than enough money to buy 6 meals at Burger King. You want to be able to abolish Mondays, vegetate through Tuesdays, see live band performances on Wednesdays, sleep off the hangover on Thursdays and go to the beach on any non-Sunday*. Your boss would love that.

4.  You want to graduate with honors/keep your scholarship/brag about your GPA on your resume. You want to be a beach bum in the middle of your finals because God decided now was a good time for the sun to laugh at your pale ass.

5. You want to get in shape for the rare moment that you might actually make it to the beach…on a Sunday. After all, you’re not a kid with magical metabolism anymore. Puberty isn’t going to make that jiggle disappear because you’re “shedding adolescent baby fat and growing into your body.” Now you have to work at it. You also like cheesecake. And BBQ Pringles. And Oreo Cakesters. Damn them.

6. You want to be taken seriously by parents, professors, and/or other professionals. You want to make “That’s What She Said” jokes until you’re 85.

7. You want to think rationally and have a plan. A 5-year one? A 5-month one? You want to be able to go to the ticketing counter and just go to any destination the bored employee randomly chooses because you’re young and spontaneous and you just CAN. You can’t afford to financially. Maybe in 5 years.

*Sunday is the official day off in Lebanon.

by - 1 Comment

8 Pet Peeves That Occur Within the Confines of Your Own Car

Another rendition of Pet Peeves

1. Like a scene from a horror film where the demon child keeps appearing even after you’ve sliced and diced his possessed body, there is a wee insect taunting you while you drive. You can’t help but focus on it’s minuscule carcass as it weaves and bobs into your windshield repeatedly. Even with the window open, it seems to have lost its internal compass and stays bouncing on the dashboard like those carnival whac-a-mole…moles.

2. YES! Your favorite song of the week just came on the radio and you’re so IN.THE.ZONE. You could basically have your Saved-the-Last-Dance audition while sitting there in the car and nail it with just the rhythmic neck movements you’re doing. You don’t even have to dance because you’re swimming in awesomesauce. And then it happens. The reception goes to shit because you’ve entered some shady area or some politician decided to crap on your dreams. You were thisclose to being a choreographer. Gone.

3. Leather Seats. If you don’t have them, then be glad that you were discounted one peeve and sympathize with this imagery: In the summer months, you voluntarily sit on a bunsen burner and then strap yourself down with a belt of fire. In winter months, you are surprised that your ass doesn’t get stuck to the leather a-la-Harry-Dunne. Let’s face it, Lebanon only has two seasons.

4. Your right leg starts twitching. In the middle of the highway, your muscle decides now is the perfect time to spasm. It’s not like you’re operating heavy machinery or could die. The people in the car behind you are wondering why you’re braking to the beat of underground house.

5. The new air freshener you got is wonderful. The smell of gardenias is so sweet, you could’ve been trapped in a perfume bottle and felt less fragrant. But then you realize that air freshener’s scent is getting into your nostrils faster than a Western country’s internet connection. It’s in your clothes, in your hair, in your blood. As you pull into the gas station, you inhale that octane as if you just surfaced for air from Mariana’s Trench.

6. That one streak of water that the windshield wipers always miss because their movement doesn’t cover the entire span of the glass. You can see fine, which is also the problem because you can see that streak. Wipe. Still there. Wipe. Still there. Wipe…Still there.

7. You’ve got just the combination of up/down/forward/backward so that the driver seat is exactly where you want it. The steering wheel is at the right position, the pedals are right under your feet, it’s yours. Until a parking attendant/car wash/any-other-person-of-a-different-size messes around with your settings so they can drive. You try to get it back to the way it was. It’s not the same. She’s changed. You don’t know if you can do this anymore.

8. You have no Kleenex. 

by - 1 Comment

8 Topics to Discuss When You’re Avoiding One Specific Topic*

*The title may confuse you – there’s usually one topic you don’t want to discuss with someone for whatever reason, yet they insist on bringing it up whenever you see them. Here are 8 topics to throw them off the trail.



1. Apple is probably building a super computer that will control our lives, dubbed the Big Mac, and it will run on the preserved tears of Granny Smith, a special fuel also known as AppleSauce. You really think the name “iRobot” was a coincidence? Exactly.

2. How playing NatGeoWild Narrator in real life can be incredibly entertaining. Proceed to play NatGeoWild Narrator. This is a game I invented out of pure boredom: pick out a person or two nearby and start narrating their behavior as if you were a NatGeoWild Narrator and they are wildlife. Name your show and episode. Use an accent. If you’re not into nature, Soap Opera Dialogue works too.

Source

3. The existence of dry shampoo baffles you. How are you supposed to feel cleaner after sprinkling white powder (yes, I’m imagining Tony Montana and a mountain of coke) on to your scalp? Wait, it doesn’t look like dandruff? What do you mean it’s all in my head? Like, LITERALLY?

4. Whether or not Norman Bates, lead role in Psycho, had some twisted version of the Oedipus Complex. He went all RuPaul on his mother’s memory. Dress up in drag all you want but when you go drag as mommy? That’s some Freudian shit right there.

5. Justin Timberlake is the king of payback songs/videos. Cry me a river because what goes around comes back around and ain’t nobody love you like I love you…Biatch.

Source

6. Gum is illegal in Singapore. Because bubbles be badass. Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride never looked so fierce.

7. The world before Facebook/Twitter made you an unintentional creeper/legal stalker of people you don’t even remember waving hello to the day before. Or some other person you don’t know because let’s face it: 15% of the Earth’s population is on Facebook and not all have discovered/understand privacy settings. Oh my god, he’s mutual friends with my cousin’s godfather’s brother. THERE IS HOPE.

8. Which combination of seven dwarves you would want to live with in the middle of the forest. A new version on the if-you-could-only-pack-3-things-island-question. You are allowed to make up your own dwarf names but be realistic, they can’t be all the variations found under “happy” in the thesaurus.

Disclaimer: If I have ever used these on you, I may not be avoiding a topic. I just noticed that they are good topics to use because I will genuinely talk about them- which simultaneously make them effective in the above endeavor. 

by - 0 comments

10 Things You Should Avoid Doing While Stuck in a Beiruti Traffic Jam


1. Eating nutella&go while security guards on the sidewalks watch you get chocolate on your fingers. You’re too afraid to eat the leftover nutella out of the container for fear of their “overexcitement”.

2. Singing along to one of these songs complete with hand gestures and high notes:
Usher- Climax, 
Chris Brown & Bieber- Next to You, 
Fugees- Killing Me Softly, 
Rihanna- Birthday Cake,

You don’t want people watching you bop your head to the beat of cake, cake, cake, hearing you say you know they want to lick icing off or attempting to sound like an acoustic guitar with your vocal chords because you sound just like Lauryn Hill when the sunroof’s open. You don’t. Record yourself and embrace the truth.

3. Drink a beverage of any kind. You’re in a traffic jam and have probably studied the human body once in your life. It’s only a matter of time before that bladder is wishing it could cry so it wouldn’t have to rely on you to physically empty it.

4. Get out of the car to see how bad the traffic is ahead of you. What’s the point? Are you going to part the red sea of cars like Moses? No.

5. Honk. The horn was invented to use in case of vehicular emergency when something or someone is in grave danger of being mutilated by the heavy machinery you’re operating. That does not apply to people who can see you frozen in time in their rear view mirror.

6. Blast a song with all the windows open without dancing along. If you’re going to be stubborn about it and make us all listen to your choice of lyrical genius, at least give us a free show. Leaning back like a gangsta with “My Humps” blaring is not hardcore unless you’re wearing a camel costume and aviators.

7. Cleaning your windshield with the automatic water sprayer. That’s just rude. And I’m sorry but I couldn’t see. 

8. Inflicting pain on a darake, or policeman, no matter how much his self importance makes you want to prove that you can make him squeal higher notes than an ambulance siren by shoving his baton up his…Smile and wave, boys, smile and wave. 

9. Going aks-el-ser, or the wrong way on a one way street, to escape the traffic only to cause another jam somewhere else because a conga line of morons followed you and now you’re all blocking the road.

10. Texting. You’re slowly going to roll into the bumper in front of you because you’re too busy complaining to others that the “traffic is deathhhhh.” BAM. There goes your radiator. 

by - 0 comments

10 Things That Instantly Make You Feel Like a 7 Year Old…And You Like It.

Mott’s Applesauce

1. Laughing so hard that coke/milk/ice cream (yes, it can happen) comes out of your nose. You feel quite attractive and the tickling sensation in your nostrils reminds you that you shouldn’t be out in public except on national holidays.

2. Ring pops, candy necklaces, tootsie rolls and applesauce. Nothing like good ole sugary jewelry and Mott’s to do the trick. That and you’re on a sugar rush for about 30 minutes.

3. When mom says she made your favorite tabkha, or home-cooked meal, and your other siblings complain that you’re the favorite. Part of you believes it too. Maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh.

4. The smell of crayons.

5. When white glue dries on your hands and you peel it off like your a molting snake. Okay, maybe that one’s just me.

6. McDonald’s Happy Meals. And the toys. Why can’t they make one with a Big Mac?

7. Presents. Basically anything wrapped in paper or in a giftbag. As long as it’s not undies from your grandma or a giftcard. Come on people, if you’re going to do that, just fork over cash. At least then I’m not forced to spend your money in the not-for-sale section of ABC, therefore causing me to pay the difference for my present.

8. People singing “Happy Birthday” to you…in 3 languages because we’re arrogant trilinguals. I actually don’t enjoy this prolonged moment of attention while you watch candle wax get all over the frosting on your cake and all you’re thinking is “wow, they spelled my name wrong again.”

9. CANNONBALL!

10. Stepping on crispy fallen leaves. The loud crunch under your feet makes you feel like you just squashed a village with your powerful godly step. “Beware village to the north, I shall crush thee.”

by - 0 comments

The 3 Ps of London

London…

(or as I call it LANDAN – I refer to it as such due to a lovely scene from Forgetting Sarah Marshall and for those of you who do not use movie quotes as a form of communication, the clip is below):

1. PRIMARK

This place is the bomb dot com. Yes, I just said that. It’s scary how much you don’t need practically everything you will buy from this place but you will buy it anyway because it’s so damn cheap. The quality isn’t amazing but it’s good enough to last you a year or so – however, the tights, leggings and pjs have a pretty good lifespan. Most sets go from 4 to 8 pounds which is awesomesauce when you see how expensive everything else is in the UK. I recommend packing one outfit and then just loading your suitcase with Primark stuff because you can literally buy a whole wardrobe for under 200 pounds.  Although you will be wondering how on earth it is possible to do this – part of me is afraid to find out – you will also find it thrilling especially after being in a country that sells plain shirts for over $400. Lebanon, I’m talking about you.
Tip: If you can, go in the morning when they first open (8:30 am). There’s less people and you might actually bother to go into the fitting rooms. Or you’ll just buy it anyway because it’s barely $5.

People Primarking

I primarked my heart out.

I don’t know if you noticed but I made it a verb.

2. PRET

This place is virtually everywhere and that is not a complaint. It’s got coffee and good food – and when I say good I mean it’s got 3 of the best qualities wrapped into environmentally friendly packaging: fresh, cheap and healthy. AND IT TASTES GOOD. All food is made the same day and whatever is left over is donated to charities. They’ve got croissants, sandwiches, yogurt cups, juices, sushi, chips, gingerbread men…a smorgasbord of yum. If you want something like it that’s closer to home, Brisk in Hamra is modeled after the same sort of format; more info here.

Sandwiches, Sushi, Salads

My favorite breakfast

3. PUBLIC TRANSPORT

The metro, or “tube”, along with buses, cabs and trains make up what is the massive network of public transportation. Although there is a tendency to have lines closed due to maintenance issues, being able to get across town in a few minutes is really convenient. Plus you see some interesting characters along the way – just like service taxi drivers here give you some good stories to tell your friends, public transport in London will give you the occasional show. For example, a little toddler singing Spiderman songs that eventually morphed into “I needa wee wee, wee wee, wee wee”. It was stuck in my head all afternoon. It’s organized and really easy to follow – if only we could get a genie to make one for us here.

Mind the gap between the train and the platform

Oxford Circus

Piccadilly