1. You want to be independent. You want to be able to pay for everything on your own without your parents’ help. You want to sleep till 1pm and watch cartoons all Saturday afternoon with a bowl of Cheerios on your lap. Wait, what?
4. You want to graduate with honors/keep your scholarship/brag about your GPA on your resume. You want to be a beach bum in the middle of your finals because God decided now was a good time for the sun to laugh at your pale ass.
5. You want to get in shape for the rare moment that you might actually make it to the beach…on a Sunday. After all, you’re not a kid with magical metabolism anymore. Puberty isn’t going to make that jiggle disappear because you’re “shedding adolescent baby fat and growing into your body.” Now you have to work at it. You also like cheesecake. And BBQ Pringles. And Oreo Cakesters. Damn them.
6. You want to be taken seriously by parents, professors, and/or other professionals. You want to make “That’s What She Said” jokes until you’re 85.
7. You want to think rationally and have a plan. A 5-year one? A 5-month one? You want to be able to go to the ticketing counter and just go to any destination the bored employee randomly chooses because you’re young and spontaneous and you just CAN. You can’t afford to financially. Maybe in 5 years.
*Sunday is the official day off in Lebanon.