1. Expenses to Keep Up with the Expats

You no longer have to spend your salary on boozing festivities at rooftop bars, eating too much fried food or forking over ridiculous entrance fees at beaches – most of which takes half your gas tank’s contents to get to only to find that it still smells like a sewer and the pool water is unnaturally warm. Thanks a lot, kid. 

Your friends and relatives who flew in for the season are now flying back to their respective destinations on other continents. You can now go back to your series of world clocks and Skype dates. You will no longer be guilted into outings you can’t afford through the cleverly worded plea “come on, it’s my last week!” or “but I won’t see you until next summer [insert sad face here].” How on earth did you ever get anything done when everyone you knew still lived within a 20 minute drive? Oh right, you didn’t get anything done; you were a freeloading college student with dreams. 

2. Back to School Sections 

It was the best part about having to go back to school. Roaming through aisles of school supplies and wanting to be the one with the coolest pens, pencils, and the most original set of folders. And then you go to school and that girl with the light-up sneakers has the same ones. The smell of freshly sharpened pencils calms you down. NBD. I have the special edition sharpies, HA! 

Even when you’re not going back to school, these sections remind you of simpler times. Have no shame in buying a set of multicolored paperclips and impractical clover-shaped post-its “for the office.” Wink, wink. 

3. Tabkhas

Tabkhas, or home-cooked hot meals, were hiding during those sticky months when all you would hear is “no, it’s too hot for that, let’s just have cold cuts” or “salads are so fresh and light.” Given, it makes sense that you do not want to be sitting around a stove cooking in the non-ACed kitchen only to eat hot food because you need to get some meat on them bones to keep you warm. You are not Ivan Denisovitch; you don’t take your hat off and eat with a spoon to feel human. The last thing you want in July is something to keep you warm because you’re not in freezing gulag, you’re in Satan’s sauna. 

BUT, now that it’s gotten just a bit breezy and you can go back to sleeping with only your toes poking out of the covers, you want some lentil soup. You want rice, kale and all those dishes your Teta (grandma) makes in order to get you to visit her more often. 

4. Sweaters, Scarves and Hats – Oh my!

The wardrobe of Autumn/Winter allows for us all to become the Michelin army of cushiony squishiness. Not only do we wear layers of soft fabric and accessorize with scraps of more soft fabric but the fact that everything is hidden allows for some of us to become a wee bit cushiony ourselves. You don’t notice it as much since you’re covered up most of the time and there’s no pressure to look fit (there’s always pressure to be fit) because no one has to be half naked on the shore for another 5 to 9 months. 

Ah, the joys of inner beauty. I blame Teta’s cooking too. 

5. The Return of TV

All the series (well almost all, sorry GOT people) that left you hanging are to return so your life can be complete again. What were they thinking leaving you for so long? If they think that you’re just going to let them back into your life without a second thought, then they’ve got anoth– 

I’m Chuck Bass. 

Okay, you can come back. 

6. Sweets

Candycanes, candy corn, pumpkin pie, apple crumble, Halloween packs of fun size everythings and finally, the Bûche de Noël. I’ll trade in my ice popsicles for this stuff any day. 

7. Bubble Baths

You know what I mean. It’s been a long day and all you want to do is soak, play with bubbles, light some coconut candles and put on some Sade. Yes men, it’s not just you; ladies like to do this too. However, it’s difficult to enjoy the experience when the air is as hot as the water. 

Would you look at that? It’s 20 degrees outside. TIME FOR BATH SALTS.

8. Rain

So not everyone enjoys rain. It creates traffic, mud, and it messes up your hair. But everyone gets so ecstatic over the first real rainstorm. Facebook erupts with weather report statuses just in case you live in a Batcave and didn’t notice the leaking noise was not from your dark river of black to match the sinister echo of your secret abode.

That, and everyone loves reenacting this.

9. Toes 

The glorious time has come when you don’t have to look at people’s toes anymore. Goodnight sandals, goodnight flipflops, goodnight peep-toe shoes. Goodnight, cow jumping over the moon.

10. Countdown to December Begins

Holiday season countdowns only get real when the last one is truly over. The cold condensed cinnamon packed version of Summer is now 3 months away and everyone will be home again and everyone will love each other and deck the halls with boughs of holly and presents and happiness and New Years and marshmallows with hot cocoa and Christmas songs and…You’re broke again. Refer to reason #1. 

Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol – Byblos, Lebanon ’12

1. The Tfadal Invite

The phrase “tfadal/leh” is one that Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol probably experienced when visiting Byblos this summer. During his concert, he told a story about how, when souvenir shopping in the Byblos souk, a dining shopkeeper asked him to join for dinner. It was a sweet story and the audience took pride in the we-are-so-hospitable-and-awesome moment. Upon reflection, this man probably said “tfadal” to Gary and it was translated as “join me.” This is not an untrue translation; however, foreigners don’t realize that this has become more of a common courtesy and less of a genuinely kind gesture. What the Lebanese don’t realize is that even this simple common courtesy is rare in other countries.

3. The M2addam Offer

When given a compliment, a common response is “Merci, m2addam” meaning “thanks, I present it to thee.” If taken literally, this means the person is saying you can HAVE whatever it is you just complimented. Now, I have never actually seen anyone take something that was m2addam but I would love to just to watch the reaction. “Hello America”, an Adel Imam movie from ’98, pokes fun at this: Imam’s character interacts with Americans who take him up on his offer leaving him stunned at their no-shame-I-just-scored-a-Rolex attitude.

4. The Wedding Motorcade Extra

Weddings in Lebanon are a grand affair. When the bride and groom drive off, a motorcade forms with a string of relative-packed cars honking their horns as the hazard lights blink indicating to all others in the ongoing traffic that the two people in the flower adorned rental just got hitched. Sometimes, a poor soul will get caught in between the motorcade. When this happens, people do one of two things:
1) make way and just wait for them to drive by like an ambulance parade
OR go with the fun option
2) join in, start honking like a maniac and just let everyone assume that they’re the annoying cousin that was invited because he helped get the discount at the reception venue.

5. The Habibi Turettes

“Habibi” is the Arabic equivalent to corazon, mi amore, cherie, my love, etc. The difference is that this endearment is applied to everyone. The guy making your shawarma sandwich will call you the same thing that your girlfriend/boyfriend calls you and it’s completely normal because this is Lebanon and we love you.