5 Steps to Survive Lebanese Wedding Season

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Courtesy of Death to Stock Photo

1. Don’t Post Wedding Selfies

The beauty of having friends and family from different non-overlapping circles is that you can wear the same dresses to their occasions, even if they’re a few days apart. It is possible to last an entire wedding season with one dress if you do not document it heavily.

However, by posting a full-length-mirror selfie to Instagram, you’ve officially retired that OOTD to next year’s rotation because Noor won’t forgive you for wearing the same dress to her wedding next month – I mean, it’s like you don’t even CARE.

If you don’t want to recycle wedding outfits, then hashtag your heart out because you looking FINE and that hair won’t stand a chance against our humidity or surround-dancefloor-while-clapping duty.

None of this applies to men. Boys, just change your tie and you’re in an entirely new outfit. Life is unfair.

2. Power Banks

You will be there for at least 4 hours and you will be using your phone to either chat, take photos, or [insert social media addiction here]. Your phone will die. In the 21st century, that will cause people who are not in your physical presence to assume you’re also dead. That, and you could get very bored or be forced to talk to a relative who keeps asking about your age and marital status.

Make sure your lifeline is fully charged when you leave home and keep a power bank on you or stuffed in your little clutch.

3. The “3a2belik/lak” Drinking Game

3a2belik is the Arabic sentiment that means “hopefully you’re next” – at a wedding, it’s referring to going down the aisle. Besides hearing this from everyone including the valet parking guy, one of the best features of weddings is the open bar so, every time you hear a “3a2belik/nefrah minnik/nshallah mnshoofik 3arous,” take a sip from your glass of Chivas or a shot of tequila. At a large wedding party, make it 1 shot/3 3abeliks.

If you’re at a conservative wedding (i.e. no booze), replace the whisky with spoonfuls of tiramisu. The traces of rum may do the job or, at the very least, you’ll get a decent sugar high that’ll make you giggle your way through the night.

4. Take on a New Identity

When at a social function like a Lebanese Wedding, you’re bound to meet people. You may even be at a table full of new faces. Now is your chance to pull a Frank Abagnale and invent a whole different persona. Keep your name but change all the details. Don’t worry, they’ll never admit that they Facebook stalked you only to find out you are not a massage therapist with a condo in New Mexico.

Be careful though – you’re in Lebanon which means a person you don’t know could turn out to be your cousin. At that point, inform them about Step 3 and let the bonding begin.

5. Uber/Careem it Home

Unless your face is glued to your phone’s screen because you’re being an antisocial millennial and only showed up for the shrimp cocktail at the buffet (no judgment), you will not want to drive home because of three things:
a) Existing in heels
b) Not knowing the road back to civilization
c) 3a2belik Drinking Game/Open Bar

Avoid it. You could even go home in an Uber Black since you’re all fancy. Treat yo self. And wedding planners, get some promo-codes for your guests so everyone can drink and be merry…and safe.

Mabrouk to all the new couples of the season!

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One thought on “5 Steps to Survive Lebanese Wedding Season

  1. Pingback: El-Tanein Diet Week #2 | Bambi's Soapbox

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