8 Things You Learn from TV Shows

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1. Being a medical intern is all about finding your soulmate. Myocardial infarction or feeling like your penguin pebble has been tossed through the grinder; no matter what, emotionally and medically, all that matters is your heart.

2. Vampires are sexy in that tortured brooding way. Sure, they want to drink your grandma like a margarita at a Las Vegas poolside but they will always love you rather than want to kill you because you’re “different.” That means you smell like cabbage.



3. A song by Kings of Leon will always be one of the featured tracks on your soundtrack.


4. No matter how dramatic life gets…teenage pregnancies, prostitution, theft, drug abuse, cancer…there will always be gwackamoley. 


Oscar from 90210 (where’d he go?)
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5. All murders can be solved in 45min with 2 commercial breaks because there’s always an obvious clue pointing to the killer. Come on, you all knew that the stuffed animal under the bed was a clue that the guy in Florida was raising bears to be trained killers so he could get away with smuggling dolphins into Maryland. 


6. In life, you have 8 people to choose from as a romantic partner because everyone else are just extras. Use, reuse and recycle, it’s fine. If you’re true friends, all they’ll want is for you to be happy with their ex, who technically was your ex first but high school doesn’t count. It’s like playing musical chairs with hormones.


7. There will always be that one friend that will have random bursts of awkwardness that will either a.) get you kicked out of a swanky restaurant or b.) get you free dessert from said swanky restaurant. You’re not sure where their fits of inspiration come from but they are the ketchup to your group of fries; always adding some flavor. 


8. There are other quirkballs out there. Even if it’s a fictional TV show, someone had to write that stuff. You’re not alone. 

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7 Lebanese Obsessions

1. Burgers
Classic Burger Joint
We have been going through this alarming oral fixation with beef patties for the past few years now. There are so many burger joints, bars, diners, bites, shacks, and/or huts that I have been a bit overwhelmed. Eventually, we will all be waking up from a nightmare where we were drowning in ground beef and our oxygen tanks had been switched with gigantic condiment bottles. Too much? Well, the hyperbole is just to stress how our obsession with sushi shifted to our love of cow. That and my imagination is quite powerful. This coming from the sole carnivore who is forced to eat Boca Meatless Burgers in a vegan-we-have-no-labneh household (but we do have durians) is saying a lot.
2. Cupcakes
My House was a Cupcake Meth Lab
The OTHER oral fixation. People don’t like cake anymore. People don’t like znoud el sitt anymore (you’re all crazy for that by the way). People don’t even like ice cream anymore. Everyone wants cupcakes. Red velvet this and oreo that. And I must admit, and I say this without kinky undertones, I am a sucker for anything red velvet. I believe it was Sugar Daddy’s in Qoreitem that started this revolutionary discovery in a pastry that’s been around since the 19th century. And honestly, they are the easiest things to bake for parties, but never do so during fasting periods when you have to resist ingesting frosting or licking the excess cake batter off the bowl. Regardless, don’t neglect the znoud.
3. Rooftops
Iris Rooftop
There’s something about being on a roof. Iris, Fly, The Roof at the Four Seasons, Alcazar, othernamesthatareflowersorinsects. Two of the poshest rooftop bars/clubs in the capital city, Skybar and White, have international reputations for having the best music, best performances, best events and best bests. It is difficult to get tables, reservations, and sometimes you won’t even be allowed in. Naturally, with all this hype and fancy shmancyism, you must be prepared to drop serious dineros – unless you go early and camp out at the bar (this is what I’ve heard). Beirut has quickly become known for it’s collection of rooftops with these two at the top of the list – which is funny considering we have the worst humidity in the region so combine that with crowds of people that hold drinks and smoke while checking out everyone else (with intermittent fits of controlled dancing) = a sticky situation.
4. Smartphones
iPhone > Blackberry
You are so rude. Put your damn phone down. If you are in the presence of another human being that you know and exchange actual conversation with – I am not referring to those awkward elevator/doctor’s waiting room moments – then put the phone down, flip it over and BE with them. If you prefer to peck away on bbm/whatsapp/imessage/imtoocheaptotextnow, then stay home in your cave and don’t bother socializing in the flesh. This is not a Lebanese phenomenon but we tend to have special relationships with our phones due to the exponentially increasing number of immigrated friends. With that said, don’t ignore the people that are still with you. If you’re out with people, assume that they actually would like to spend time with you instead of competing with bubbles of text that are asking you what you’re doing at that moment.
And couples, if your significant other is out with people other than you – you should trust them enough to leave them alone. Unless it’s an emergency (in which case, call), you can live without them for a few hours. If you can’t, buy a dog.
5. Anti-Punctuality
Cuckoo Clock at The Angry Monkey, Gemmayzeh
No one here is on time and thus comes the obsession of always being late. If they are punctual, then they probably lived abroad at some point in their life and they learned that it is common courtesy to not make people wait for you. Here in Lebanon, it’s a completely different rule. Majority do not even try to be on time. The beautiful part? When you complain that you’ve been waiting for 25 minutes because you thought they said “9 o’clock, don’t be late because we’ll lose the table”, they say “you know I’m never on time, come on” as if that is some form of a legitimate excuse for you setting the record for consecutive games of Temple Run while acting like you’re not being stood up by a table for 12. This is another situation where it would be acceptable to be bffs with your smartphone – but not once the people get there. They can disrespect your time but don’t disrespect their presence for then your argument loses all value.
6. Hamra
Birdhouses in Hamra
This area is actually just a district made up of about 4 main streets with their alleyways + the AUB campus. It is famous for being home to many coffee shops since the 70s – one of which was Cafe Modca, one of the first examples of Constructivist architecture in the Middle East (sadly, it has since been transformed into Vero Moda). Now, it has pubs as well. It seems that every 43 seconds, there is a new pub coming to life. Although Hamra had been on the decline in the late 90s, it came back as the “it” place to be due to it’s bustling nightlife and convenience, being in between two of the largest universities in Beirut. Most restaurants have opened branches in Hamra, along with foreign clothing franchises opening large stores along the main street. It seems the only thing missing is a decent movie theatre; this is ironic seeing that it used to be home to Beirut’s first cinemas.
7. Turkish Series
Watching Turkish soap operas has been an epidemic. When I was younger, it used to be mostly shows from Mexico resulting in me becoming a fan of Thalia and Maria Mercedes/Rosalinda. I have left these days behind. The Turkish counterparts have been dubbed in Syrian or Egyptian Arabic and have an audience that watch them religiously. It seems there’s a show for everyone, dramatic romances to action-packed mafioso gangsters – people will actually stay home to watch the latest episode of their favorite show that will probably include a coma, a love triangle, a murder and betrayal, not necessarily in that order.

The Damien of Fruits

The Durian Slice.

A durian, or the Damien of fruits as I call them, is a fruit from southeast Asia. Recently, my teenage sister has decided to become a vegan and, besides her regular speeches against red meat and philosophies on spirituality, she experiments in imported goods and edible shrubbery.

Before moving to Singapore, a friend of mine had introduced the mythical fruit to me but only in words. We watched Natalie Tran’s video about Singy, where the YouTube sensation said that they were illegal on the metro because of their trademark odor. Vegan sister has shown me why. Her latest experiment was one durian bought for 16,000 LL (a bit over $10) from TSC. And she decided to store the spiky whoopee cushion in the fridge after cutting it open. Why is this bad? I’ll tell you.

The fruit can only be described as the lovechild of a pineapple and blowfish. The smell, which infested our kitchen and fridge, is like a rotten egg stuffed in a gym sock that was soaking in a septic tank. The fact that it looks like a medieval weapon and smells like a medieval outhouse would make one wonder if it’s supposed to be ingested. Isn’t that natures way of saying “stay away”? I thought to myself, don’t judge. What if it’s delicious? What if this is actually the sneaky durian’s way of testing the human race? Only those who are strong enough may have me, a chastity belt for fresh produce.

So I tried it. It was hard to do since you can’t avoid smelling the fruit before consuming it. So I plugged my nose. At first, it tastes like almonds. And then it starts to taste just like it smells right when you’re about to start digesting it. By then, it’s too late. You’ve been durianed. I ate a teaspoon of Betty Crocker Rainbow Chip frosting to get rid of the aftertaste. Did I mention she put it in the fridge?

First Arabic Printing Press in Lebanon

View from the monastery
Up, up, up high in the mountains of Khenchara, you can find the very first Arabic script print house in Lebanon.  Since I’m not very familiar with the directions there [I thought we were going off somewhere near Tripoli and I was disappointed when I learned we weren’t getting halawet-el-jeben], according to Wiki, it’s located between Bologna, Bteghrine  and Dhour El Choueir. The village is 30 kilometres (18.6 mi) north east of Beirut.

Inside one of the churches (St. Nicolas I think) 
The press is located at Deir Mar 7ohanna, St. John’s Monastery, which dates back to the 12th century. The first printed book was Mizan al Zaman (The Balance of Time) in 1734. Founder of the press, Abdallah el-Zakher from Aleppo, Syria, built the oldest machine between 1726 and 1733. 

Our guide was Brother Theodore, a slightly intense religious man who explained the history of the churches and the printing process which sometimes took 6-8 years per book. One of the things he said that stuck with me was his analogy of love and a knife. He said that, love is like a knife that can stab you in the heart or cut you open to remove your appendix; it can wound you or it can heal you. He is a bit enthusiastic about faith so if you have an allergy towards religion or are sensitive to such things, be prepared. 

Engraved decorative elements

Cliches

Arranging the letters for words

Galley used to set up the page

Titles

Used to make the space between the lines of text

Letters

 The type would be set letter by letter, line by line and placed into a plate. The plate would then be put into the printing mechanism where ink would be added and impressed onto the paper when pressure was applied. The ink was made from ground up walnut branches and the paper used was 100% organic making the books completely natural products. This could explain why the books are still in incredible condition.

The first printing press machine
The larger printing press

Once the pages were printed, they were dried using an accordion fan similar to the ones used to keep the chimney fire going (bellow blower). The books were stitched and bound with leather then placed between wooden planks to keep shape. 

Stitchers
Binding 

Books placed between planks

Tools for leather binding

Woodcuts of sacred scenes

Brass scene
Commemorative plaque for Abdallah el Zakher

The way that el Zakher made sure to keep the correct order of pages was pretty impressive: instead of using page numbers and getting lost, they would print the last word of the script at the bottom of the page outside the framed text. This last word would be the first word of the next page and those words would never be found twice so there would be no confusion. That’s pretty difficult when you think about it. The Arabic script used is based on el Zakher’s own writing and it is said that you cannot tell the difference between his actual handwritten pages and those that were produced by the press. 

Notice the last word outside the frame on the bottom left of the right page is the first word on the next page

Brisk & Pret

I have mentioned this previously in the Hamra Coffee Shops post but I wanted to dedicate an entire post to the comparison of these two establishments:
Brisk and Pret.

Brisk is an organic healthy pitstop in Hamra equipped with coffee from Canadian Gloria Jean’s. Pret is an organic healthy pitstop all over London equipped with coffee from…Pret. As far as I can tell, Brisk was modeled after Pret because of many similar factors:

1) The packaged-food shelves
2) The recycling project
3) The whole general mission of the place as a business (organic, fresh everyday, go green)

Just look at them here:

Brisk Packaged-Food Shelves
Pret Packaged-Food Shelves
Brisk Recycling Station
Pret Recycling Station
Brisk’s Mission
Pret’s Mission

Seems pretty similar, no?

The 3 Ps of London

London…

(or as I call it LANDAN – I refer to it as such due to a lovely scene from Forgetting Sarah Marshall and for those of you who do not use movie quotes as a form of communication, the clip is below):

1. PRIMARK

This place is the bomb dot com. Yes, I just said that. It’s scary how much you don’t need practically everything you will buy from this place but you will buy it anyway because it’s so damn cheap. The quality isn’t amazing but it’s good enough to last you a year or so – however, the tights, leggings and pjs have a pretty good lifespan. Most sets go from 4 to 8 pounds which is awesomesauce when you see how expensive everything else is in the UK. I recommend packing one outfit and then just loading your suitcase with Primark stuff because you can literally buy a whole wardrobe for under 200 pounds.  Although you will be wondering how on earth it is possible to do this – part of me is afraid to find out – you will also find it thrilling especially after being in a country that sells plain shirts for over $400. Lebanon, I’m talking about you.
Tip: If you can, go in the morning when they first open (8:30 am). There’s less people and you might actually bother to go into the fitting rooms. Or you’ll just buy it anyway because it’s barely $5.

People Primarking

I primarked my heart out.

I don’t know if you noticed but I made it a verb.

2. PRET

This place is virtually everywhere and that is not a complaint. It’s got coffee and good food – and when I say good I mean it’s got 3 of the best qualities wrapped into environmentally friendly packaging: fresh, cheap and healthy. AND IT TASTES GOOD. All food is made the same day and whatever is left over is donated to charities. They’ve got croissants, sandwiches, yogurt cups, juices, sushi, chips, gingerbread men…a smorgasbord of yum. If you want something like it that’s closer to home, Brisk in Hamra is modeled after the same sort of format; more info here.

Sandwiches, Sushi, Salads

My favorite breakfast

3. PUBLIC TRANSPORT

The metro, or “tube”, along with buses, cabs and trains make up what is the massive network of public transportation. Although there is a tendency to have lines closed due to maintenance issues, being able to get across town in a few minutes is really convenient. Plus you see some interesting characters along the way – just like service taxi drivers here give you some good stories to tell your friends, public transport in London will give you the occasional show. For example, a little toddler singing Spiderman songs that eventually morphed into “I needa wee wee, wee wee, wee wee”. It was stuck in my head all afternoon. It’s organized and really easy to follow – if only we could get a genie to make one for us here.

Mind the gap between the train and the platform

Oxford Circus

Piccadilly