1. Being a medical intern is all about finding your soulmate. Myocardial infarction or feeling like your penguin pebble has been tossed through the grinder; no matter what, emotionally and medically, all that matters is your heart.
2. Vampires are sexy in that tortured brooding way. Sure, they want to drink your grandma like a margarita at a Las Vegas poolside but they will always love you rather than want to kill you because you’re “different.” That means you smell like cabbage.
3. A song by Kings of Leon will always be one of the featured tracks on your soundtrack.
4. No matter how dramatic life gets…teenage pregnancies, prostitution, theft, drug abuse, cancer…there will always be gwackamoley.
|Oscar from 90210 (where’d he go?)
5. All murders can be solved in 45min with 2 commercial breaks because there’s always an obvious clue pointing to the killer. Come on, you all knew that the stuffed animal under the bed was a clue that the guy in Florida was raising bears to be trained killers so he could get away with smuggling dolphins into Maryland.
6. In life, you have 8 people to choose from as a romantic partner because everyone else are just extras. Use, reuse and recycle, it’s fine. If you’re true friends, all they’ll want is for you to be happy with their ex, who technically was your ex first but high school doesn’t count. It’s like playing musical chairs with hormones.
7. There will always be that one friend that will have random bursts of awkwardness that will either a.) get you kicked out of a swanky restaurant or b.) get you free dessert from said swanky restaurant. You’re not sure where their fits of inspiration come from but they are the ketchup to your group of fries; always adding some flavor.
8. There are other quirkballs out there. Even if it’s a fictional TV show, someone had to write that stuff. You’re not alone.