A Series of Tightropes

There are many cases in which you are required to walk along a tightrope, or “err on the side of caution.” Ultimately, to sum it up in a few words, this amusing phrase means: play it safe. You are encouraged to be a certain way, but not to the extent where you will lose your balance. 

Sadly, balance is not a twenty-something’s strongpoint. 

  • Be generous but not foolish
Being generous is commendable. It’s selfless and yet, makes you feel good too so it’s selfish selflessness. High quality heaven points right there. Generosity comes in many forms: it can be helping out at a shelter, paying for a friend’s parking fee, or even exchanging an hour of sleep for an hour of “but what do you think he meant when he said, ‘I’ll see you later comma xo exclamation mark’?”. However, do not fall into the trap of being taken advantage of. And he meant exactly that, now go to sleep.

  • Be independent but not alone
You need to be self-sufficient, go dutch, do your own laundry, order your own omelette du fromage. It’s easier to face the world on your own because, in the end, you’re the only one you can count on. *walks off into distance, Rocky-fists the air* In the midst of trying to prove ourselves, we forget that we actually need people. Besides, if you were alone, you wouldn’t be able to borrow body wash when yours run out thus missing the chance to smell like the man your man could smell like.

  • Be honest but not offensive
You are told to be upfront about how you feel, say what you really mean, speak the truth so you don’t have to keep track of your lies, that it’ll set you free like a butterfly in a pumpkin patch. You shouldn’t tell girls not to hold their purses with an arm that is perpetually bent towards the body, looking like a botched flamingo leg transplant. Not all people respond well to blunt “constructive criticism,” but many have faulty detectors as to what would be deemed insulting. Perhaps instead of erring, they should proceed with caution. Or just send a text. 

  • Be passionate but not vulnerable
Do everything with love. Put all your energy into things that you are enthusiastic about. It will never be a waste because it matters to you. Let your heart be your guide. Wait, no. Slow down. Get those snow chains, tsunami barriers, and bulletproof vests. Yes, take risks and be dedicated but protect yourself, physically, emotionally, whateverly. Vulnerability is sweet when it means you’re standing in the “soak zone” at Six Flags, you’re ordering medium rare steak at a place you’ve never been too and have yet to test their definition of “rare”, or you’re uploading a picture on Instagram with your location while you’re still there. It is not sweet when you’re professing your love to your ex…in his wife’s delivery room as he’s cutting the umbilical cord of his 3rd son.

  • Be committed but not obsessed
Committed to people, to your career, to finding a place that sells corndogs in Lebanon (Bliss Street! WIN.) It is sad to see some lose sight of other things that are equally, if not more, important. You must make time. I mean, “I see med people…walking around like regular people. They don’t see each other. They only see what they want to see. They don’t know they’re med.” You can still be the best neurosurgeon if you live life in moderation. 

  • Be indulgent but not ridiculous
Speaking of living in moderation, there are those times when you allow yourself to let loose. It’s okay, you deserve to treat yourself but there’s fine print that says “live life in moderation in moderation.” You should not use the old wives’ tale of “if you’re experiencing excessive hair loss, eat more gelatin” to consume more jelly beans. You should not spend Easter Sunday vegetating on a hotel bed in London, watching Jay-Z and Queen documentaries on BBC while hoovering prawn crackers and stuffed crust pizza. With that said, BEST EASTER EVER. 

  • Be mature but not decrepit 
You should be a semi-grown-up by now. No one else is going to think the deo skidmarks on your duffle bag are some other gooey substance, that’s just your built-in 12-year-old Bazinga noggin talking. There are only a few people that you can be 12 with, and in the meantime, you need to learn how to have a conversation without cracking a joke. And stop using “hehehe” when your chat-laughing because you seem like a creepy pedo who owns a hand-painted dollhouse. However, you must remember that you ARE young, so set the world on fire, you can go higher than the sun. Regardless of maturity levels, you are never too old to play volleyball with inflated balloons.

  • Be imaginative but not batshit crazy
The brain is a muscle and you should exercise it. Or just let it run wild because, if you ask me – and you didn’t but you’re reading my blog so it’s the same thing – the brain is more like a Pepsi can in the freezer. The more time it’s locked away, the higher the likelihood of explosion. Let your imagination burst just be aware of it at all times. You should not think that your cat is a relative of Salem from Sabrina the Teenage Witch just because he watches you shower. Sure, he opens doors, likes olives, and is probably pretending to be a deaf purebred but that doesn’t mean his human soul is trapped in the body of a feline. Eyes up here, perv. 


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One thought on “A Series of Tightropes

  1. Pingback: The Bambi Top 5 of 2012 « Bambi's Soapbox

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