Dear AUB,

How’ve you been? Do you remember me? Of course, you do. We go way back. Haven’t heard from you in a while…

Actually, I know I say it’s been a while but it hasn’t. I didn’t think you’d move on so quickly. And for someone younger, quicker, and untainted by harsh realities no less. I get it. I guess I didn’t stand a chance. I thought there was a special bond between us- after graduation, when you met my parents, you said I’d never forget that night. I thought it was because you wouldn’t either. You did though.

I want to believe that this is the way things have to be. I want to believe it when you say I can have life and have it more abundantly because of you. Sure, being with you gave me the strength to discover what I really wanted. Staying with you helped me build the courage to go get it. But leaving you made me realize I had to do it alone. I don’t think I’ll be able to erase the effect you’ve had on my life. You erased mine on yours though. To you, I’m just another number.

Even with all this, I also didn’t think I’d still miss you this long after it all ended. I didn’t think you’d still make me grin sheepishly to myself whenever I hear your name. It seems, you will always be a part of me and I will always feel at home within your arms.

Taking a page out of Neruda’s book, I must accept that our time together is over. I must carry on with my life even though I carry you in my heart.

You know, even if I’m with someone else now, I still think about you. You never leave my mind.
But then again, they always say, there’s nothing like your first love.

I haven’t forgotten you yet,
Alumnus