1. The laptop charger keeps falling out of the socket every time you place your buttocks far enough that you have to get up to go back and plug it in.


2. You get settled in under the covers with just the right arrangement of pillows fluffed around your head and you found that cool spot that you put one foot on, while the other one just barely pokes out of the blanket. You’re about to sleep and then you realize…your light is still on.


3. You slam the door shut only to hear that magic “click” that means that stupid little part of the lock that’s supposed to keep the door shut (the bolt?) has gone rogue and kamikazed itself against the doorframe…and your door nonchalantly swings back open. If it could sing, it would be doing a wonderful rendition of that annoying taunt classmates used to do when you’d play tag and they’d make it to “safe” before you got them.


4. Your closet door has learned from his rogue relative. As you rummage through drawers and various items of clothing, the closet door insists on stealthily creaking open every time you try to close it. If you’re lucky, it’ll hit you in the bum when you’re not looking. Repeatedly.


5. The window is open because it’s sunny and there’s a breeze instead of the thick humidity monster typical of those impending sticky summer months of doom. The air is nice until it decides to send your papers flying across the room. It’s never as whimsical as it seems in the movies.


6. LeBron James ain’t got nothing on you. That ball of a failed masterpiece is going to make it into the trashcan without you even trying. Hell, you wish it could swish for you. Why did it just bounce off the rim? I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU JUST COSTED US GAME 7. Kobe gets MVP. AGAIN.


7. The drapes have gone all Angelina-at-the-Golden-Globes, allowing that beautiful sunlight to splash on your head…wonderful rays of happiness. Only problem is it’s still 6:30 am and those slits in the drapery could very well be the slits in your wrists since you’ve got another hour before that alarm goes off like a steamboat is coming straight for your face. 


8. The alarm goes off like a steamboat is coming straight for your face.