June 25, 2014 by Farrah Berrou - 4 Comments

Lebanon: Would You Miss Me?

I was in Dubai for another weekend and, this time, it wasn’t the same as last February. When I came back a few months ago, my love for you was revitalized and I was happy to be home. This trip was different. For the first time, home didn’t feel like it cared if I was even there. For the first time, I didn’t want to come back.

A year has passed since I stopped to ask myself, “why do you stay?”. A war, a string of explosions, and daily struggles did not scare me and yet, now, I can’t justify my current life choice. The reasons that kept my feet firmly buried in the sand don’t feel comforting anymore, they feel like excuses. I have dear memories but murky thoughts; you’re not what you used to be to me and I don’t know what happened. I am here wondering if I’m limiting myself from the growth that every young adult needs- the kind that is not satiated by rooftop bars, private beaches, and manouche. Growth that comes from being self-sufficient in a functioning forward-thinking society. Have I settled for less than what I deserve? Maybe I woke up, maybe I’m exhausted, maybe I outgrew you. Maybe you don’t want to be who I know you are. Maybe I don’t want to wait until you get your act together, if you ever do. Maybe I need to get my act together first.

Only a few days after returning, I am reminded that danger lurks while the people are concerned with foiled summer plans and football matches. Even I started to wonder how this would affect my social life rather than how it could affect my overall tomorrow or just my drive home from work – that’s when I knew there was a problem. Threats to your safety are not supposed to be seen as an “inconvenience.” I will still defend you to the vacationing foreigner in the hot tub who claims that we’re an aimless doomed country but something has changed. I still love you but something has changed. That future I saw with you is blurry after being in a place with 2020 vision – a place that has a common goal that they’re all working toward, all attempting to make into a reality.

A city can only claim superiority that springs from culture & authenticity for so long before it drowns in its own delusions and inflated pride. While we bask in our rich heritage, destroy what is left of it, and become our own worst enemy, some of our neighbors surpass us in ambition and development leaving us in their towering shadows. We need to work as one, with humility, toward the Lebanon that we dream of while being fully aware that it could slip through our fingers if we lose sight of what really matters.

I’m confident that I’ll find my way back to you. Perhaps then, I’ll be strong enough for the both of us but I feel like I can’t save you at the moment. I need to put the oxygen mask on myself before I try to help you – unfortunately, all the masks here give an inadequate supply leaving me gasping for air.

I have another vacation coming up. Being away for more than just a few days may give us the break we need. However, if I were to leave for good at some point, my greatest fear is that you wouldn’t even notice, you wouldn’t even miss me if I was gone.

But I know I’d miss you.

June 18, 2014 by Farrah Berrou - 0 comments

FIFA 2014: Top 5 Ads

5. Durex – “Don’t Fake It”, Havas Worldwide (TBC)

You’ve got to love condom ads. EXCELLENT thought here. Connecting faking it on the field to faking it in the bedroom is classic Durex humor. Supposedly, it’s not just a joke: Durex conducted a survey that found that 40% of 2,000 men would pick watching football over being with their partner. As for the ad, I wish the execution was better. It looks like an amateur fan video on YouTube – was it?

4. McDonalds- “GOL!”, DDB Chicago

I loved this ad because it didn’t feature any bigshot players. It ranks #4 on my list though because it could have been signed off by any brand and McDo plays no role here. Nicely done but not related to the product.

3. ESPN – “Time Zone”, Wieden + Kennedy

Thinking behind this one is smart: the World Cup being the one time that the entire world is operating on the same time zone to watch the games. Everyone united in their love for soccer: it’s appropriate to the brand and well shot.

2. Nike – “The Last Game”, Wieden + Kennedy

I’ve admired Nike’s communication for years. They know how to get your blood pumping which is perfect when you’re a brand that stands for an active lifestyle. This ad is beautifully crafted and has a story – another great one from W+K.

1. Beats – “The Game Before the Game”, R/GA USA

Normally, I wouldn’t connect headphones to football but Beats was clever. They created a connection prior to FIFA by making their product the thing that gets you into the zone (Hear What You Want). It cuts you off from the haters and gets you ready to take on the game ahead – whether that game is a day at the office or on the field. Using this same insight, they used Brazil’s Neymar Jr. and an excellent track for this spot. I’ve been listening to the song on loop for 3 days. A remix featuring JayZ was released recently so let the repeat continue.

Honorable Mentions:

1. Adidas – “The Dream”, TBWA\Chiat\Day
Only because of the Kanye track. Otherwise, this ad is “meh.”

2. Kia – “Adriana Lima Football vs. Futbol”, David&Goliath

Although the Optima has nothing to do with soccer, Kia made up for irrelevance by using hot Brazilian Adriana Lima to teach men about the real meaning of “futbol.”

3. Hyundai – “Avoidance”/”Boom”, INNOCEAN USA

Another car brand jumps into the race but, this time, their product actually plays a role in the story. The insight here of trying to avoid hearing the results of a game rings true. “Boom” has a cheeky storyline too. Nevertheless, cars aren’t really related to futbol so its purpose is forced.

June 1, 2014 by Farrah Berrou - 0 comments

48 Hours in Bucharest, 36 Hours in Moscow

Recently, I was on two brief business trips. Regardless of how long you’re in a country, it’s imperative to try and absorb something from that place. You never know when/if you may be there again, so you’ve got to take advantage of the chance to learn something new. You may not get a real feel for the destination – after all, 2 days is hardly enough to know a place – but you might still pick up a lesson or two.

In Bucharest

I didn’t interact with the locals or the city too much due to work & weather. What I can say is that the Romanian language is quite lovely. A photographer told me about the roots of the language being a mix of Spanish & Italian with some Russian undertones and a pinch of Portuguese. Throw all those lyrical sounds together and you’ve got something beautiful that is a unique Eastern European Latin amalgam. Besides that, from the streets I did see, the overall city’s appearance has a decadent neglected charm. The architecture is inconsistent in that every street is a mismatched combination of industrial run-down buildings and heavily ornamented Art Nouveau beauties of earthy tones. It’s like seeing a small EDL building next to Miss Havisham’s house. But the thing that made the Bucharest trip hilarious was discovering this show on TV: BeastMaster, the Hercules/Xena LOWER budget version of Dr.Dolittle.

Hotel Ukraina, now the Radisson Hotel, on the Moscow River

In Moscow

It seems that Russians have the reputation for being unfriendly straight-faced people. Turns out, this is a cultural misunderstanding. A smile in Russia is not something given to everybody. It must be a genuine smile given to people you know, not just a stranger you’re passing on the street or a customer you’re interacting with. You don’t know them so why should you fake a smile? It’s completely rooted in the historical culture that is reflected in the behavior of the people: old Russian sayings show smiling isn’t encouraged.

Gum, Red Square

The Red Square is a must-see because you get a taste for the grandiose nature of what Russia represents. You’re surrounded by giant churches, the Kremlin, and a Gum (state department store). This Gum has a glass ceiling atrium that resembles the architecture of NYC’s Penn Station in its glory days. St. Basil’s Cathedral, the famous Who-ville cupcake colored church-turned-museum that is a symbol of Russia, is worth seeing even if just from the outside.

St. Basil’s Cathedral

I asked about a famous Russian dish that everyone’s teta would cook in a certain way. Basically, I was wondering what was the equivalent to our kibbeh. For some reason, I thought it would be beef stroganoff but it turned out to be Olivier salad. The basic Olivier salad is potatoes, boiled carrots, eggs, and peas with mayonnaise but it varies and is considered the necessity at the table when having large gatherings (especially New Year’s parties). It’s the Russian tabbouli, if you will. Stroganoff, on the other hand, became popular after a chef of the Stroganov family cooked it up. It used to be a luxury to have because of the price & availability of meat but eventually, it became a staple dish across the country and the world.

Some other tidbits from Moscow:

– Getting from place to place is very time consuming due to the large distances but mostly because of unpredictable traffic. You never know when a traffic jam is going to keep you stuck in a car for 40 min or 140 min.

– Married folk wear their rings on the right hand. Engaged folk may have a diamond involved just to show the difference but there’s no switching hands.

– Alexanders are nicknamed “Sasha”

– Roosters seemed to be popping up in various forms (decor in the hotel, lollipops in stores). My internet digging says they are a symbol of happiness and good fortune to Russians. Please correct me if you know otherwise.

– The Seven Sisters are a group of 7 skyscrapers in Moscow that have the same Stalin-architectural style. The skyscrapers were built in order to compete with capitalist cities. One is the Radisson Hotel, formerly known as Hotel Ukraina, which sits on the Moscow River. These particular skyscrapers are Gothic/Baroque but there’s some Burj Khalifa Dubai-esque style ones coming up though.

– Black bread, or rye bread, is common. It’s a very dense dark colored bread that’s high in fiber. It’s density is due to the chemistry of the rye and how it makes the dough rise. It’s supposed to be healthier than white bread. Personally, I wasn’t a fan. Unfortunately, I prefer fluffy bread that makes you fluffy too.

– Space Museum came highly recommended. I didn’t get to see it but it’s on the list!

– Spa-seeba means “thank you”

May 25, 2014 by Farrah Berrou - 3 Comments

FIFA Four-Year Plans

As the FIFA World Cup inches closer, I find myself wondering where the past 4 years went and what I have accomplished (or failed to accomplish) in that given time. Thanks to Lebanon being a football-crazed country that doesn’t participate in the World Cup but cheers for every other flag, I tend to make “FIFA Four-Year Plans” instead of Five-Year Plans when it comes to projecting into the future and trying to figure out where my chips will fall and which pigeons will eat them.

Two mondials ago, in 2006, I had just graduated from high school and, unknowingly, I was about to get my first taste of war in Lebanon. Four years after that, I had a biology degree, experienced my first heartbreak, and was a year into getting another degree in a completely unrelated field. I think I had a clearer vision of where I wanted to go at 22 than when I was 18. When you’re in your early late-twenties, the four years leading up to that bring about a lot of self-discovery and character-building. Besides that personal development, you also get bigger doses of reality and start to question yourself more and more. There is a simplification process that happens. Priorities change and your perspective becomes more focused because you realize who and what is important and worth your time & effort. Then, you jump to the next phase: where will I be when the next Mondial rolls around? When I’m 30 and my baby sister is graduating from high school? Where do I want to be and how do I get there?

2014 is the first Four-Year Plan Milestone that feels like a turning point considering I am now a semi-functional adult, caught in that young professional web where my peers are either engaged, married with kids, all-nighting for higher education degrees, or de-stressing with a beer on a sidewalk in Mar Mikhael. In the last four years, I graduated again, had a brief stint as a redhead, joined the workforce, traveled to the Far East, and started this blog. I have fewer acquaintances and more friends. I also tweet and have two tattoos. I have yet to build a Beirut metro, have a bake and shark in Trinidad, or drive a Maserati in the Autobahn. Hell, I didn’t even ride the Teleferique like I said I would while in Jounieh during the ’06 war. Check back with me on these in 2018.

In the last eight years, I have learned that things don’t always go according to plan and, sometimes, it’s better to have a general direction rather than a solid strategic course of action that has no room for compromise. You need to be flexible so you’re open to other opportunities you don’t foresee. Some people say, “don’t give up what you want most for what you want now.” Just don’t forget that maybe what you want now could lead you to something even better than what you want most.

So where were you 4 years ago and where do you want to be 4 years from now?

May 20, 2014 by Farrah Berrou - 4 Comments

Samsung S5 vs. iPhone 5S

As said back in March, the guys at Samsung CTC gave me a brand new Samsung Galaxy S5 after I complained about my iPhone’s dying battery while tweeting at ArabNet. About a month later, my white S5 arrived and I began to discover how the other half lives.

Let me start with a massive disclaimer: I love my iPhone. I love Apple products because of their sleek appearance and their intuitive interface design. I use a Macbook, an iPod, and have been an iPhone user since 2012. That’s not a long time but, once I made the switch, that was it. I must also say that I feel it makes sense to use products of the same family because all devices are compatible & easy to sync. I recently upgraded to the 5S so getting an S5 (this is going to get confusing) was the chance to experience what my Android friends always use as ammo in the Apple vs Android debate. What I’m saying is, I’m incredibly biased and a very loyal customer of Apple but I tried to have an open mind about it. The overall use of the phone was not easy to figure out but I assume that that was because I’m used to the iPhone interface so navigating wasn’t simple. BUT, due to this, I saw how efficient Apple is when it comes to creating a system that is designed to mirror how you think it should work.

COOL

Swipe Keyboard: All Samsung devices have this keyboard option. It allows you to swipe one finger over the letters used to spell a word in one movement. The phone will translate your swipe automatically into the word you’re spelling. It’s pretty accurate too – it even got commandments right.

Beauty Face: This is a camera feature that allows you to adjust the level of airbrushing on the faces in your photos. It’s like it was made for taking perfect selfies. It goes from 1 to 5, 5 being most “beautiful.”

Removable Battery: Upon receiving the phone, I couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t turning on until I realized I hadn’t inserted the battery. Yup, bimbo moment. iPhone batteries are built in so when you get the phone, you turn it on and you’re good to go. Samsungs’ are removable which helps when your phone freezes and you need to reset or when you need to replace a fried battery.

Battery life: The battery life is slightly better than the iPhone but, in all fairness, it also takes longer to charge. There’s an app in the Play Store called “Juice Defender” which gives you some options that help you save battery life and reduce use of data networks when the phone is at rest. As my Android friend said, anything that’s missing has an app to make up for it.

Green Packaging: The box the S5 is in is made of 100% recycled material and the printing is with soy ink.

GTalk: Since it’s an Android, having all of Google’s products built into the device is a plus. Besides Gmail and Chrome, GTalk and Hangout is also there. It’s a plus but not a deal breaker since there are so many messenger apps (texting and video) already available on all devices.

NOT-SO-COOL

Data Network Options: The fact that I can’t choose Edge (or any slower connection) means that my data network must be either all or nothing. This isn’t the end of the world but it can be inconvenient when you’re buying a smartphone. The iPhone still has Edge connection when you turn off your 3G so you can still use Whatsapp – this is my method for prolonging my iPhone’s life and reducing my phone bill. When you turn off your data network on any phone, it will prolong battery life so this could also contribute to your Samsung’s battery lasting longer than an iPhone’s, generally speaking.

Sim Card Size: Shifting from the 5S to the S5 took an extra week because I had to find the right sim card adapter. The 5S uses a sim smaller than the nano and the S5 is still at the nano-sim stage. Besides that, the sim’s slot is too tight. You need tweezers to remove the sim card unless there’s a hidden button I missed.

Screen Size: Some appreciate that the Samsung screens are larger and easier to read but I found that the size of the screen made the entire phone too bulky. It’s difficult to use with one hand and my thumb doesn’t reach across the entire screen with ease. I feel the phone’s size is too cumbersome (and that was without a cover), not pocket-friendly, and barely hand-friendly. Perhaps you get used to it or I have small hands. TWSS.

BEST FEATURE

Water-resistant: I wanted to dump the phone in a cup of water to put it to the test but I didn’t have the heart. This may be the only feature that beats the iPhone. In my opinion, this is the best feature since, in the presence of my electronics, my klutzy self and I have become a hydrophobic mess. However, this feature’s not enough to make me switch teams. I will say that a shield of this sort would make the iPhone king of its domain.

Well, that and a better battery life. Apple, are you listening?

April 27, 2014 by Farrah Berrou - 0 comments

5 Eco-friendly Technologies Lebanon Needs

Sparkling Sidewalks
Using the energy captured from the sun during the day, sidewalks and pedestrian-friendly areas can be lit up at night. “Starpaths” are created by spraying the surface with Pro-Teq. It consists of a polyurethane glue base, followed by the particles, followed by a biodegradable sealant. At night, it looks like a path right out of Alice in Wonderland. Considering our street lamps aren’t very reliable, this would be a easy way to keep the walkways lit in the dark evenings.

Falling Sand Energy
Danielle Trofes uses the energy from falling sand to light LEDs. Although the fixture needs to be flipped to keep it working, it’s a simple solution to an electric problem we face in the land of generators. Many product designers use the principle of harnessing kinetic energy from basic movements in order to have a self-sustaining product. Check out the Soccket and the Voltmaker. No need for external sources of electricity when it’s power source is built in.

Swing Generators
To power public spaces and parks – yes, I still have hope – Morodavaga swings can be set up. As the riders swing back and forth, energy is created. The system was created as an installation for the Pop Up Culture program by Guimarães, in Portugal. Simple swing sets with this technology could be used and be the power source for the lights within parks.

Algae Powered Lamps and Light Sources
By inserting nanoelectrodes into the chloroplasts of algae, a small current can be drawn from them while they photosynethsize. The simple process allows the organism to create energy for a battery which can be used later. Peter Horvath’s biolamps also depend on liquid algae to purify the air. The biomass produced from the process is used as biofuel that power the street lamp. Solar trees can also replace street lamps but we have something resembling that installed in certain areas of the country. Whether or not your district has them depends on your governing municipality.

Double-Sided Solar Panels
USA’s SunPower Design designed a carport that has a canopy of solar panels above it. The panels provide shade for the cars while being able to generate power for 200 homes nearby. What makes this carport so special is that the panels are designed in a way that allows them to capture light from both sides. The fabric underneath reflects the light onto the backside of the panels so you end up with double the energy. Solar panels, however, need to be cleaned regularly so that they absorb as much sunlight as possible. Stanford University researchers had the idea of using the water than runs off the panels to cultivate agave (the plant that makes tequila). In our case, we could incorporate this method to create root systems that “help keep soil in place and prevent erosion.” Or we can just use it to grow hashish.

April 18, 2014 by Farrah Berrou - 0 comments

Salt & Paprika Shakers

If you’ve ever had Hungarian paprika, then you’ve probably already done this. If you haven’t, then get your hands on some and trade in your black pepper shakers. Hungarian paprika tastes good on everything except ice cream.

Paprika is made by grinding up the pods of capsicum pepper plants. The plant reached Hungary through the Turks back in the 16th century and the best stuff is grown in Szeged. There are two main types (hot and sweet) that are further broken down into 8 varieties. All Hungarian paprika is a beautiful bright red but the varieties differ depending on their pungency and heat. The red peppers are hung to dry and grounded into a fine powder. Sweet paprika is mostly pericarp with most seeds removed, whereas hot paprika contains some seeds, placentas, calyxes, and stalks.

Using it as a garnish gives minimal flavor, it’s better to cook with. If you want to enhance the paprika flavor even more, stir it into some oil before use. Hello, paprika parmesan fries with truffle oil! Unfortunately, the only dish I had in Budapest was chicken paprikash and it was purely the paprika that made this dish worthy. It reminded me of the chicken rice in Singapore only because of the combination of boiled chicken with a zing of spicy flavor. I think my supply above will last about a month.

April 13, 2014 by Farrah Berrou - 1 Comment

A Cedar Environmental Update

So once again, I attended a TEDxBeirut event and, once again, I got to hear about certain upcycling eco-friendly efforts going on in Lebanon including Chreek and the recent developments at Cedar Environmental. Ziad Abi Chaker was one of the live speakers and his presentation showed the audience what he’s been up to since his first TEDx talk in 2011.

MRFs (Material Recovery Facility)
These facilities are like garbage filters in that they extract the usable material from waste thrown away by communities. One issue with these facilities is space. According to Cedar Environmental’s website, “Land is an exceptionally scarce resource in Lebanon, and large terrain cannot be sacrificed as a waste dumping and burning site. A MRF using the Dynamic Composting™ technology takes only 1000 m2 of land to treat 5 to 10 tons of waste DAILY. Outside the Beirut area, a 5 and 10 tons per day waste stream is generated by a community of 10,000 & 20,000 inhabitants respectively.” However, Cedar Environmental has built 7 MRFs in Lebanon; each MRF treats up to 96 tons of waste daily.

Organic Fertilizer
Animal waste produced in Lebanon used to be dumped in the sea or burned. The waste is now converted into the first organic fertilizer made in Lebanon making it cheaper than imported alternatives. Before 2005, there were close to 90 certified organic farmers. Now, there’s about 400 thanks to the price of fertilizer dropping by 70% since there’s a local supplier.

Eco-boards within the chairs

Eco-board
The Eco-board, a board made of 3600 compressed plastic bags, is being used for construction of small houses, porta-potties, furniture, and conveyor belts in factories. One eco-board conveyor belt exists in the slaughterhouse of Beirut. The boards can now be painted as well (painting plastic is not the easiest feat) so the not-so-glamorous ingredients aren’t detectable when you see the material. Honestly, I prefer the non-coated boards because the Eco-board has a nice textured pattern.

Colonel Microbrewery in Batroun
Many blogs and newspapers have been reporting the story of the new microbrewery that’s being built near the Batroun coast. This new craft beer will be concocted in an eco-friendly brewery that is made entirely out of recycled materials. Like the Ixsir winery, they will depend largely on natural light. There will be a 370 sq. mt. green roof and the walls are made of Eco-boards that will double as vertical gardens. Herbs including zaatar (thyme) and mint will be grown and, in turn, used at the restaurant there. The Microbrewery will also have a bed & breakfast. The structure, which is made out of 2 million plastic bags, 3000 shipping pallets, and 109 sq. mt. of glass panels, should be done in 3 weeks. I’d love to be part of a grand tour.

GGRIL Cups on an Eco-board table

GGRIL Accessories
Mentioned before on the blog, GGRIL accessories are upcycled glass home accessories and decorative items. The team provides the glass bottles and the designs while the glass blowers take care of the production. All proceeds that come from the sales of these items go back to the artisans that created them. Because glass blowers were almost extinct prior to this initiative, it’s admirable to see that they’re craft is being preserved. As Ziad said, next time you’re invited to a dinner, instead of bringing a bottle of wine, get an GGRIL item that’s made out of used wine bottles. You’ll spend around the same amount, help the environment and be supporting local craftsmen. Cheers to that.

April 10, 2014 by Farrah Berrou - 0 comments

Bambi Recommends: Chimney Cake

Kürtőskalács, or the easier to remember/pronounce “chimney cake”, is a Hungarian sweet snack which is sometimes referred to as “spitcake.” Don’t let the names fool you.

It’s made by wrapping a long thick string of dough around what looks like a rolling pin skewer. The dough is brushed with butter or egg yolk, coated in sugar, and left to rotate over hot coals. Watch it happen here. The sugar becomes caramelized and once toasted, different flavored sprinkles are added on top (coconut, cinnamon, vanilla, chocolate, crushed walnuts). It’s then slipped off the skewer and wrapped; you can tear off pieces of the cake and it unravels like the inner tubing of a toilet paper roll. Sorry, bad association. It tastes best when it’s still warm off the coals. The outside has a sugary crust while the inner part of the strips remains soft like bread. Basically, if sweet pretzels and cinnamon rolls had a baby, it would be a chimney cake dipped in awesome.

Based on their little sign next to the grill and what I dug up online, the chimney cake originated in Transylvania when it was still Hungarian territory. Born in the bakery of the Szeklers, or Hungarian Szekleys. Szekleys were Transylvanian warriors who were rumored to be descendants of Attila’s Huns. They have pride in their effect on Hungary because Magyar tribes were said to be related to the Huns and thus, the Szeklers are a subgroup of Hungarians in the mountains of Romania. “Magyar” is used interchangeably with “Hungarian” but can also refer to the Hungarian language.

The cake is served at special occasions but can be found made and sold by street vendors throughout Budapest. Like Hungary’s pálinka, kürtőskalács are an EU protected geographic indication of Slovakia (but they’re called Trdelník). Regardless, they remain Hungarian to me.

April 6, 2014 by Farrah Berrou - 0 comments

5 Tidbits from Hungarians in Budapest

“All we have to our left is our sword, dog, and hookers”

A Hungarian said this while walking with us two girls on the sidewalk. He moved to the left side as most gentlemen do, resulting in us being on his right and then proceeded to tell us the above Hungarian saying. So flattering.

“Egészségedre!” (pronounced egheshe gedra)

This means “cheers!” in Hungarian. The actual translation is “on your health!” so it’s just like Arabic’s “sahtein!” Be careful though because if you pronounce it wrong and say it with an A like “eghesha gedra”, then you’re saying “on your ass!” Always maintain eye contact when clinking glasses, they take their 7-years-of-bad-sex curse very seriously.

“The best way to describe Pinot noir is it tastes like strawberry shit.”

One Hungarian producer said this after telling me that Southern Hungary makes the best wine but his favorite type is Pinot noir. Despite this appetizing description, we had some later and I believe it tasted much better than fruity excrement but, then again, I’ve never tried strawberry feces.

“Let’s do a white line.”

This is referring to the new metro line. The existing three are the yellow, red, and blue lines. Yellow being the oldest in Budapest and the second oldest metro line in the world (first in mainland Europe!). It starts at Vörösmarty tér and was built in 1896. Seniors and EU citizens ride free. At first, Hungarians didn’t know what color was to be assigned to the new line so they dubbed it the white line; thus, the cocaine joke. Based on my trusty guidebook though, the line is actually green.

“Plum is the best.”

When asking about the best flavor of pálinka, Hungarian fruit brandy. There’s plum, apricot, apple, pear, peach, and so on. It’s an EU geographical indication which I find to be just another policy that we should implement for our own geographical specialties. It’s like hardcore copyright. It “ensures that only products genuinely originating in that region are allowed to be identified as such in commerce.” Read more here. We’ll have it one day. Anyway, pálinka is insane. It’s sometimes served like a shot in whiskey glasses and once you down it, you have a hint of fruit flavor and then your mouth stops functioning. It goes numb and you can’t feel your tongue for about 30 seconds. And then it burns on the way down and everything is fuzzier. TWSS.

Singing “Supergeil” under his breath

And then the German/Hungarian producer who studied in the UK showed me this amazingly unforgettable supermarket ad: