Author Archives: Farrah Berrou

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Edward & Frankenweenie

WARNING: This post is loaded with videos. If you have a poor internet connection, then let these stream while you sit in a staff meeting watching the girl who’s watching the guy idly thumb the springs of the pineapple in the fruit basket like it’s a genie’s lamp.

If there was a tab on how many times I had viewed every movie seen in my lifetime, I’m very confident that Edward Scissorhands would be the top viewed (with Practical Magic and The Little Mermaid tied in second). For some reason, I never get sick of watching this creepy Tim Burton film and it is the sole reason I love the director. Well, it and Beetlejuice. Please educate your offspring about the original Team Edward. Another Edward that should be highlighted is Edward Gorey, a writer and illustrator who, like Burton, had a dark style.

Scene from Edward Scissorhands:

Upon doing some reading, I found that Burton had done a short film in 1984 titled “Frankenweenie.” It’s a parody of the original Frankenstein but also has bits and pieces of Scissorhandsian magic. The choice of actress to play Victor’s mother helps the feel since she was the mother in the classic thriller “The Shining” released just 4 years prior. And there’s the guy who played Marv in the Home Alone series too but that’s irrelevant. Apparently, a black and white stop motion remake of it is to be released this year.

The original Frankenweenie in ’84:

The 2012 Frankenweenie Trailer released at Comic-Con:

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7 Kinds of Love You Find in College

1. Academic

You take classes in philosophy, psych, maybe even a little cultural studies so that you can properly analyze a book that is most likely related to some form of colonialism. You major in something you think you’re passionate about or something that will make a lot of money or something that sounds really good at a 10-year reunion. And if you choose right, this may actually be something you can make a real career out of. Maybe. The love you get out of the courses you take and the lessons you learn will teach you what you want to do with your life or what you don’t want to do with your life. Either way, you will fall into a couple of academic potholes and eventually you’ll find out which one will pop your tire and make you stay. Even by studying something you don’t love, you’ll discover what you do love.

2. Platonic

You will meet so many people. Younger, older, weirder, or just plain boring. You’ll become friends with the guy who always offers gum. You’ll hate that girl in front who, without fail, asks a question a minute before the teacher was going to dismiss you…every hour. Your friends will make friends and you’ll meet those friends who will introduce you to their friends who will be your original friends. You probably know people’s full names even though you’ve never met them because they’ve had enough interaction on Facebook with mutual friends.  Just walking around campus will make you effectively know a huge chunk of your demographic and you will continue to recognize people after you graduate but you won’t know why. But here’s the truth: You will make plenty of acquaintances but only a small number of close friends. Life will catch up with you post-graduation and all those people you met will start doing their own thing. It’s not personal, it’s business also known as “your future”.

3. Romantic

You will meet someone who will become your person. The one you wake up early in the morning for. The one who knows that before a test, you’re going to be in pajamas in the library but doesn’t mind because you’re falling asleep on them so, technically, you’re appropriately dressed for the occasion. The one your friends call when they can’t find you. The one that pisses you off because they ate your last french fry but, deep down, you don’t care. The one who gives you their hoodie when you wear that polyester shirt that’s going to make you an allergic mess. The one that makes you stronger just by saying “it’ll be okay” because them saying it makes it true. The one who’s smell is chloroform and smelling salts to you. The one who is your spinach and kryptonite. The one that may be The One. Or not.

4. Materialistic

You will develop a love for at least one material item that is unnatural. It may be your car, your laptop, your cellphone, your iPod, your lucky BIC pen that has managed to help you pass every English essay that needed to be written within 30 minutes…it could be all of these things, at which point, you may need to get out more. You will become dependent on this item and love it like it is your child. You will have heart palpitations when it is hurt and will worry about it when it’s not with you. Please remember, they are material things. They can be replaced. As long as you backup all data and/or have insurance. Except for the BIC, that stuff is magic.

5. Parental

You will realize how much your parents love you. Not immediately but eventually it will dawn on you.  They will suffocate you with phone calls, lectures and questions about where you are, why you’re not studying, who you’re with, what you ate for lunch, etc. Then there’s the teasing about how you’ve lost/gained weight which is somehow related to the status of your love life that you have yet to inform them about and that’s their way of reminding you that you haven’t. And if you’re living on your own, you will realize how much your parents used to do for you without you appreciating it because now you have to do everything yourself while still getting the phone calls, lectures and questions mentioned above.

6. Professional

You will meet at least one accomplished individual – a professor, guest speaker, lab instructor, PhD student – who will inspire you to be an accomplished individual. They don’t necessarily have to be in your field or from your country of origin but you see yourself in them for some unknown reason. They will give you hope and make you think that it is actually possible to “make it” and that maybe that last overnight or failed final won’t even be a blip on the radar of success that is in store for your ambitious little soul. You’re going to be a star because J.K. Rowling said failing is okay and since Scrooge McDuck is definitely jealous of her case of swimmer’s ear, you’re convinced she knows her shit.

7. Self

You will develop a new found love for yourself. You will spend nights bouncing thoughts about your future off the ceiling like it’s a ping pong table. You will realize what your weaknesses and strengths are. You will realize how powerless you can be and how much you can accomplish. You will surprise yourself over and over again. You will also learn what you will put up with from other people and what you will be willing to do for others as well. You will see how selfless you can be without feeling used but you will also know that there will come a point where you will also need to be selfish without shame. And sometimes, you will do this all alone. You will become your own worst enemy and your own best friend because the one constant you can count on in all the ups and downs is you.

If you’re lucky, you get to experience at least 3 of these. If you’re really lucky, you get them all. (POKE-E-MON!…sorry.) 

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What’s Awesomesauce?

Bubba, drunk off of awesomesauce.

It’s the melted salted butter that makes baked potato unhealthily delicious. It’s the parking space right outside Rony’s in Bourj Hammoud. It’s jelly beans. It’s your iPhone surviving another fall. It’s you getting the last cheese stick. It’s posing for inappropriate pictures with the Ronald McDonald statue. It’s lying in the grass watching the trees overhead sway in the wind. It’s an amalgamation of all that is soothfast and simple as well as an ejaculation of understated epicness. It’s like saying something is “the shit” without actually saying something you like is fecal matter.

According to Urban Dictionary,



In cooking, a sauce is liquid or sometimes semi-solid food served on or used in preparing other foods. Sauces are not consumed by themselves; they add flavor, moisture, and visual appeal to another dish. Sauce is a French word taken from the Latin salsus, meaning salted. Sauces need a liquid component, but some sauces (for example, salsa or chutney) may contain more solid elements than liquid.

Awesomesauce, on the other hand, is prepared by mixing equal parts of awesome, amazing and breathtaking. The awesomeness is slowly cooked and small parts of uncanny, extraordinary and magnificent are added. When no one expects it, the awesomesauce should asplode in huge fireworks, sonic booms, gorgeous girls, american flags and monster-trucks.

Awesomesauce, contrary to any other sauce, can be served alone, or acompanying other dishes as movies or rock concerts. Awesomesauce added to any food makes of it a real rollercoaster of emotions, thrills and excitement that Michael Bay would be proud of.

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Hell’s Kitchen

One of many good prison movies (Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile, Brokedown Palace) “Sleepers” is a film made in ’96 with the less wrinkled faces of Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman, Brad Pitt, and the wisdom-teeth-pulled-faced Minnie Driver. My favorite character is Fat Mancho, a guy from a mini market in Hell’s Kitchen. 
Below is a clip of Fat Mancho. 
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7 Lebanese Obsessions

1. Burgers
Classic Burger Joint
We have been going through this alarming oral fixation with beef patties for the past few years now. There are so many burger joints, bars, diners, bites, shacks, and/or huts that I have been a bit overwhelmed. Eventually, we will all be waking up from a nightmare where we were drowning in ground beef and our oxygen tanks had been switched with gigantic condiment bottles. Too much? Well, the hyperbole is just to stress how our obsession with sushi shifted to our love of cow. That and my imagination is quite powerful. This coming from the sole carnivore who is forced to eat Boca Meatless Burgers in a vegan-we-have-no-labneh household (but we do have durians) is saying a lot.
2. Cupcakes
My House was a Cupcake Meth Lab
The OTHER oral fixation. People don’t like cake anymore. People don’t like znoud el sitt anymore (you’re all crazy for that by the way). People don’t even like ice cream anymore. Everyone wants cupcakes. Red velvet this and oreo that. And I must admit, and I say this without kinky undertones, I am a sucker for anything red velvet. I believe it was Sugar Daddy’s in Qoreitem that started this revolutionary discovery in a pastry that’s been around since the 19th century. And honestly, they are the easiest things to bake for parties, but never do so during fasting periods when you have to resist ingesting frosting or licking the excess cake batter off the bowl. Regardless, don’t neglect the znoud.
3. Rooftops
Iris Rooftop
There’s something about being on a roof. Iris, Fly, The Roof at the Four Seasons, Alcazar, othernamesthatareflowersorinsects. Two of the poshest rooftop bars/clubs in the capital city, Skybar and White, have international reputations for having the best music, best performances, best events and best bests. It is difficult to get tables, reservations, and sometimes you won’t even be allowed in. Naturally, with all this hype and fancy shmancyism, you must be prepared to drop serious dineros – unless you go early and camp out at the bar (this is what I’ve heard). Beirut has quickly become known for it’s collection of rooftops with these two at the top of the list – which is funny considering we have the worst humidity in the region so combine that with crowds of people that hold drinks and smoke while checking out everyone else (with intermittent fits of controlled dancing) = a sticky situation.
4. Smartphones
iPhone > Blackberry
You are so rude. Put your damn phone down. If you are in the presence of another human being that you know and exchange actual conversation with – I am not referring to those awkward elevator/doctor’s waiting room moments – then put the phone down, flip it over and BE with them. If you prefer to peck away on bbm/whatsapp/imessage/imtoocheaptotextnow, then stay home in your cave and don’t bother socializing in the flesh. This is not a Lebanese phenomenon but we tend to have special relationships with our phones due to the exponentially increasing number of immigrated friends. With that said, don’t ignore the people that are still with you. If you’re out with people, assume that they actually would like to spend time with you instead of competing with bubbles of text that are asking you what you’re doing at that moment.
And couples, if your significant other is out with people other than you – you should trust them enough to leave them alone. Unless it’s an emergency (in which case, call), you can live without them for a few hours. If you can’t, buy a dog.
5. Anti-Punctuality
Cuckoo Clock at The Angry Monkey, Gemmayzeh
No one here is on time and thus comes the obsession of always being late. If they are punctual, then they probably lived abroad at some point in their life and they learned that it is common courtesy to not make people wait for you. Here in Lebanon, it’s a completely different rule. Majority do not even try to be on time. The beautiful part? When you complain that you’ve been waiting for 25 minutes because you thought they said “9 o’clock, don’t be late because we’ll lose the table”, they say “you know I’m never on time, come on” as if that is some form of a legitimate excuse for you setting the record for consecutive games of Temple Run while acting like you’re not being stood up by a table for 12. This is another situation where it would be acceptable to be bffs with your smartphone – but not once the people get there. They can disrespect your time but don’t disrespect their presence for then your argument loses all value.
6. Hamra
Birdhouses in Hamra
This area is actually just a district made up of about 4 main streets with their alleyways + the AUB campus. It is famous for being home to many coffee shops since the 70s – one of which was Cafe Modca, one of the first examples of Constructivist architecture in the Middle East (sadly, it has since been transformed into Vero Moda). Now, it has pubs as well. It seems that every 43 seconds, there is a new pub coming to life. Although Hamra had been on the decline in the late 90s, it came back as the “it” place to be due to it’s bustling nightlife and convenience, being in between two of the largest universities in Beirut. Most restaurants have opened branches in Hamra, along with foreign clothing franchises opening large stores along the main street. It seems the only thing missing is a decent movie theatre; this is ironic seeing that it used to be home to Beirut’s first cinemas.
7. Turkish Series
Watching Turkish soap operas has been an epidemic. When I was younger, it used to be mostly shows from Mexico resulting in me becoming a fan of Thalia and Maria Mercedes/Rosalinda. I have left these days behind. The Turkish counterparts have been dubbed in Syrian or Egyptian Arabic and have an audience that watch them religiously. It seems there’s a show for everyone, dramatic romances to action-packed mafioso gangsters – people will actually stay home to watch the latest episode of their favorite show that will probably include a coma, a love triangle, a murder and betrayal, not necessarily in that order.

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London Lights

With the Olympics drawing near, we are all going to be drowning in British tea and leotards for a while. I don’t follow the events much but I did love this promo video done by BBC for “London Calling” featuring the song “Lights” by Ellie Goulding.

Also check out the awesomesauce version of the song with Lupe Fiasco here.

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Let’s Talk About Seasons

Close up of “Eternal Spring” – Auguste Rodin
Musee Rodin. Paris, France



Here in Lebanon, the majority of the population are trilinguals with knowledge in Arabic, English and French (or Armenian, Spanish, Italian, etc). Those that are in the French education system are known as “Frenchies.” Despite the fact that I would love to know a third language and French would be convenient and fancy, I am not a Frenchie. 


With this introduction, I now feel comfortable copying a quote here in French without feeling like a pseudo-intellectual fraud and I apologize in advance for yet another Tony Robbins moment. 


“Au milieu de l’hiver, j’ai découvert en moi un invincible été.”  – Albert Camus


Translation: “In the depths of winter, I discovered there was in me an invincible summer.”


To me, it means that even in your lowest moment, when shit has hit the fan, when there’s no hot water, when you have to eat spinach for the 3rd day in a row, when you’re still unemployed, when someone close to you has passed away…there is still an undying spirit within you that will help you persevere. There is an underestimated amount of summer that will push you through every winter that you’re forced to trudge through, you just don’t know it yet.



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451º F

“He saw himself in her eyes, suspended in two shining drops of bright water, himself dark and tiny, in fine detail, the lines about his mouth, everything there, as if her eyes were two miraculous bits of violet amber that might capture and hold him intact.”

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury


*image is an edited screen shot from Gucci Guilty TVC

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5 Smells of a Beiruti Summer

1. Eau de Pub

The pub crawl stench. This is not restricted to the summer season but tends to increase in intensity during vacation periods due to pubs’ desire to fill their venues to maximum capacity. That combined with humid weather and weak air conditioning/ventilation gives you the pub crawl stench that infests your skin and clothing on a night out. It is a combination of cigarette smoke, perfume, deodorant, and various body odors all mixing together thanks to the close proximity boundaries that don’t exist in the Bei. God help you if you come home and can’t shower. 

2. Vape

Pronounced as “VAP”, this is the anti-mosquito magic that most households use. It comes in different forms, but my new favorite is the “wheel” that you light and burn like incense – sorta smells like it too. In Arabic, they’re referred to as “douwaleeb”, or tires, so it goes right along with the newest trend of burning tires.

Vape douleb (singular for tire)

3. Masheweh & Fahim

This means “barbecue and coals.” As is tradition during the summer months – people take advantage of the sunny weather and decide to grill all organs and slabs of meat on a man’al, a rectangular shaped open grill with groves so skewers rest over the coals. It can be anything – chicken, beef, lamb – and of any nature – filet, lungs, wings, etc. It’s commonly known as “kebabs” to the outside world. The side-effect smells are charcoal, garlic and possibly onions if you eat too much fattoush salad.

Source

4. Brakes

The smell of the car brakes after driving up and down mountain roads. The Lebanese version of a roadtrip is to drive up to a village or spot up in the mountains where it’s a bit cooler, sit around and have some masheweh and beer. Majority of the cars owned in this country are not made for off-roading since having smaller sedans is ideal for living in a city that ignores the idea of parallel parking or traffic laws. Therefore, these roadtrips (that actually consist of you driving for two hours tops since Lebanon is smaller than the state of Connecticut) destroy your brakes and “re7it freimet” (the brakes smell) accompanies you on your return down the mountain.

Source

 5. Coconut/Carrot Cream or Johnson’s Baby Oil

Coconut/Carrot tubs of cream are these orangey/brown buckets of stuff that people use poolside. They’re popular but the staple here for becoming brown is Johnson’s Baby Oil, the tanner’s elixir of life. The suntanning folk here tend to swim in it first before swimming in actual water. When I used it once, I felt like a baking chicken that is asking to look like I fell into KFC batter by age 40. Nevertheless, many other people enjoy the deep brown color it seems to help create in the now. I admit that it is a nice hue (with moderation) but it’s not safe medically – I prefer SPF and not looking like Magda in There’s Something About Mary.

Johnson’s Baby Oil Shelf
Magda – Source