A high school friend passed away this week. And, although I didn’t know her, a young girl from my gym was in a fatal accident last week. Today marks 10 years since the assassination of Rafik Hariri. As selfish as it may be, all these events remind me of how unpredictable our days are. We’re not in control and we don’t get to decide when the time is right…for anything.
My taebo instructor told us not to take our time for granted, not to wait until we’re wishing we had another chance to tell someone we love them, for just a minute so we can say one last sentence. It’s not the first time I’ve been told this or the first time it’s crossed my mind but maybe my recent reevaluation of where my days are headed made it resonate with me more than it ever had previously. Perhaps it was the high school friend’s way of living that inspired me to remember to be courageous in what life is supposed to be for me and the people I am connected to. After seeing the mark that he left on so many, it seems the only thing we do have control over is our effect on other people.
Tell your siblings that you’re only a bossy protective pain in the ass because you want to help them face the world that has already bruised you; you’re not trying to be another parent. Tell your friends that your favorite nights have been the ones where you end up eating Szechuan chicken in Monot after post-happy-hour 90s-tunes cruises. Hug your parents and tell them you’re sorry they paid for two degrees because it wasn’t clear that you didn’t want to be a doctor until your 3rd year of premed. Tell your colleagues they’re the only reason you’re still getting out of bed in the morning. Tell your person. Tell them that you want them, because, if they left, your life would be an endless series of Mondays. Tell them Fridays, you’re in love. Tell them even if they can’t tell you.
Say it all.
As a resident of the unstable Lebanon where you never know what’s in store for you when you leave the house every morning, I firmly believe that you should share what’s in your heart. Telling someone what they mean to you without expecting reciprocation or reaction can’t be negative because it is simply a declaration of genuine affection. It is honesty in its purest form.
Today is also my 27th birthday. I am grateful I’ve been given another year and I have another day to tell all the people I love that I love them. To all the people who feel the same, thank you for loving me too. All I can say today, on the commercialized day of love, is that nothing is promised. Say what you can now. Tell people how you feel. Why wait?